A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Help! I have been living with a roomate for 1 week now, and while we are not a couple as of yet, she has been more happy than ever, and in fact, this week we both agree has been fantastic. She told me she isn't used to being treated so well. Here's the problem. I have an ex who i keep in touch with. Just friends (she's married) but i wrote her in a text that i have a female roomate, and since she gets jealous, i told her i hoped she'd go back to her ex bf, and that she was a chatterbox. Trouble is, this wasn't really true, and i know it was wrong, but anyhow, we had an amazing saturday night, and after all that, she went thru my blackberry and saw the texts i had sent. i woke up to her calling me names crying and saying she was leaving. After 1 hour, i calmed her down, and told her that yes, i wrote that, but it wasn't true. I told her look at my actions versus words. She decided to stay, and has been quiet and distant, which i understand. My question, have i done irreprable damage? Can she forgive me? How do i tell her and convince her? is it possible, or should i just let her be? I don't want to end it, but i have no idea if now she will just use me for the place, or if despite what happened, she still has hope. She has said it's been the best week of her life...what do i do??!! talk to her? let her be? thank you!!!
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 September 2010):
 Dating your roommate, huh? Who's going to be the move to move out if you guys break up? Personally, I don't think you should date your roommate that's just asking for it. And you should probably cut off contact with your ex, she's married so she has a life of her own. Now, what you said were you talking about your roommate? If so then you know it's wrong and why didn't you delete those texts just in case, leave no incriminating evidence behind. But you didn't know she would go through your Blackberry while you were sleeping. This roommate has probably had her share of crappy relationships in the past so she's guarding her feelings and protecting herself. There's nothing wrong with that but now you've made her leery of you and no so trusting. Really your roommate has trust issues she needs to work out first before she dates you..you can apologize and prove that she can trust you by showing her your phone. But she's never really going to get over it any time soon, it will always be in the back of her mind. Bottom line, find someone else to date besides your roommate.
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