A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm going to ask the most common question ever probably, and know full well that the answer will be you've just got to ask/find out but i can't seem to. Basically I've started to really like a girl I work with. For the past year really we've started to hang out a bit, and this summer alot more with another couple and earlier in the year I talked myself out of liking her believing I didnt, but I've come to realise I really do like her. She's not like other girls, she'll do things like say something crude that only a guy would find funny and I think it's hot, and she's not the usual stick thin prima donna, and I love it. But I am so unbelievabley scared of asking, and I think just kissing her would be easier but I just dont wanna get worked up for it and then get a no. I had a really bad experience last year with a girl and don't want a repeat.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (14 September 2010):
 I'll tell you right now, if you go in for an unexpected kiss she will most likely reject you. Most women don't like to be caught off guard like that, it's not how it seems in the movies. Plus, it could make the situation awkward if she doesn't reciprocate those feelings. From your post, it's not enough insight to know if she's into you or not. Just get to the point and the next time you're hanging out ask if she would like to have dinner on night as in a date. You never know until you ask!
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (14 September 2010):
 "She's not like other girls"
This kind of thinking indicates an attitude of scarcity. What makes you scared to ask her out is the dual belief that (A) she is irreplaceable, and (B) she will be horrifically offended by being asked out and never talk to you again.
BOTH of those are wrong. There are thousands of girls out there who would make excellent girlfriends. Right now, she's just a friend; there is no romantic connection yet. She's worthy of respect as a human being, but is completely replaceable as a potential girlfriend.
If you ask her out, she may say yes, she may say no. Things will be awkward for a while if she says no, but will eventually go back to normal if you don't obsess over it.
If you just up and kiss her, not only will she be less likely to respond positively than if you just asked without putting pressure on her, but failure will result in awkwardness forevermore. Don't do it.
Don't be afraid to be rejected, it's part of life. Just ask if she's busy one night (wednesday or thursday are good first-date nights), then ask her out for a drink (coffee or booze, depending on your age). Say "Wear something nice." Do not confess to any long-repressed love or whatever, that will come off as creepy.
Good luck.
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