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Did I misread her signals?

Tagged as: Online dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 October 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 11 October 2009)
A male United States age 30-35, *oga 777 writes:

Well where to begin.I am 19 i will be 20 shortly and ic never had a gf..nor have i ever been on a date or even had my first kiss yet.i dont know if im what you would call picky but it's just when i feel a connection with someone is when i like them not based on looks and only partly on personality i havent made many connections especially living in the middle of nowhere as i now do..i have been talking to a girl online and on the phone for bout a month even on cam on stickam before although she seemed a bit putt off by the size of my arms..i work out a lot and their decent sized but she put and quote "holy fuck o_O " dont usually get that response lol.i really care for her but when i told her i loved her she said"aww i love you too...a friend love" which honestly surprised me a bit she does have a bf sort of it's long distance and they fight a lot..what i dont get is on my yearbook they have this compatibility thing and i know she went out of her way to improve it which to me was a sighn she liked me as more then a friend..idk did i misread signals? we flirt an aweful lot both on the phone and typing. idk im considered good looking.. my self esteem is a bit low because i used to be obese but 2 years of diet and excersise later i would have figured i wouldnt have as tough a time finding a girl i dont just want sex even tho my hormones are getting on my nerves...im nice and caring and always want the best for people..i just cant explain why i get turned down so much....basically what i'm asking is did i misread signals? is there something wrong with me? iv been alone for so long but i dont think i have a problem socializing..i just feel so rejected all the time..im beggining to get depressed about my situation..please any advice?

View related questions: depressed, flirt, I love you, long distance, self esteem

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009):

You are not alone. I am 21 and never even kissed a girl. I am talking to a girl online and on the phone also. It hasnt been going that great lately. She had a boyfriend when I met her too and he was away at college and things didnt work out so I got my chance. I am starting to realize how truly hard it is too meet someone online and fall in love with them. She just doesnt seam like the same person sometimes and its hard to tell which version of her I am going to get. It seams kinda like the same with this girl. Sometimes she seams like she really cares about you and wants to be with you, but other times its like she just wants to be your friend. I dont think she led you on, I think she does care about you and just isnt sure because she already has a boyfriend. Honestly if I were you, I wouldnt put any more effort into it. Just be her friend and only that. Think about this, she has a boyfriend, yet she is flirting with you all the time. What is she gonna do if you are her boyfriend? And above all else you need to stay positive. Girls arent the only thing, you need to keep your mind busy with living your life, spending time with your friends and family, and once a girl comes along you can finally be with, you wont be lonely anymore. I do understand how hard it is. I feel so pathetic and hopeless sometimes, just wondering what is wrong with me. But you need to pick yourself up and be optimistic. Dont get down on yourself. Think of all the weight you lost and how great an accomplishment that was. You put your mind to it and you achieved your goal. You can do anything you set your mind too and that includes meeting a girl who you really deserve.

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A female reader, Good Girl United States +, writes (10 October 2009):

Good Girl agony auntYou poor guy. When you do meet a girl who can appreciate you i think you will make her very happy! Considerate guys like you are a bit rare, especially guys who are willing to let their guard down a bit. Is it possible for you to meet girls face to face in your area? Internet relationships are difficult bcause despite all the available technology there is a certain distance and anonymity to it all. That being said, your situation is not an impossible one. All the same you should try to meet girls in real life. Allowing the physical chemistry of being close to someone to drive some of your decisions is not bad. Some things you cant convey over a webcam. If you really like this girl, don't be shy. Ask her to tell you how she really feels. Trust your instincts too, you are ready for a relationship. If she is not you can remain friends, but you should be able to enjoy a loving relatoinship with someone. Trust me. She's out there!

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