A
male
age
36-40,
*icoCialis
writes:Backstory: Woman (42) approached me at a club and I got her # that night. Since, we've exchanged text messages and I've noticed she tends to take a while to respond unless I catch her undivided attention. She has already agreed on a date, but we just haven't linked up yet.Fast forward a week later and she responded to my text shortly after before she disappeared after I basically asked her is she's from up north because she admitted she is a Packer's fan (which doesn't matter to me) and now it's been almost 3 days. I still haven't received an answer, or any text messages from her. My question to women out there is, why do ya'll drop out in the middle of a conversation and ghost guys like this? I don't get it. I didn't say anything offensive and I don't think I'm being agressive at all. I actually made it a point to not be pushy with this one because I like her. Anyways, thanks for the input.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2021): P.S.
Don't take it the wrong way; but clubbing in your 40's is a little long in the tooth. Yes, people still do it; but by this stage in your life you know that clubs are not the best places to find true-romance. They're basically okay, if you like one-night stands or quick hookups. The lights are low, music is pumping; and alcohol tends to make things seem a lot more interesting and exciting than they might be when you're sober and in normal lighting.
Surely, you're likely to cross paths again; but keep it light and casual. Should that occur, just be cool. Don't be a jerk, or behave like a knuckleheaded frat-boy. Everyone has the right to change their minds.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2021): Nine times out of ten there was no real interest; because she might have been emboldened by too much alcohol. Just before last call, tipsy-people make that last-ditch effort to make a hookup. If no-one has paid her much attention the whole night; but one particular individual (you) may have shown interest. Sometimes alcohol will give a lady the nerve to strike-up a conversation, or even to be more receptive to someone hitting on her.
You may have struck her as cute at a first-glance; but upon sobering-up, she may have realized she wasn't completely herself. How you think and behave after a few drinks is one thing, but you may have a completely different attitude once you're 100% sober. Don't take it personally.
Stop attempting contact. Let it pass. Block her number, unless you want to be left in the back of the file; for when she has nothing better to do, and you're an after-thought. You're good for a free dinner or drinks. That should be beneath your male-pride. Don't be a sucker. Obviously, she's not really into you.
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A
male
reader, NicoCialis +, writes (23 September 2021):
NicoCialis is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you guys. She just responded to my follow up text that I sent today to tell me not to be "so sensitive..." "it has nothing to do with you..." and that she's been very busy raising her son (which I didn't know about)
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A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (23 September 2021):
 I think that she seems to flaky and is showing a complete lack of interest in you.
Could go into many reasons as to the reason why, but i don't really see the point in that.
Maybe a club is not the best place to meet a potential suiter.
I would refrain from dwelling on the reasons why she is ghosting you because you are going to drive yourself up the wall.
Delete and block her and move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 September 2021):
 You met a woman in her 40's in a club. She could VERY likely be married. Thus she can't text "some guy" constantly. And if she IS married, it might have been "just fun" for her.
I'd say if a woman (or man) doesn't seem to engage and show interest and ACTUALLY want to meet up in person - even just for a coffee or lunch - they are NOT interested.
I'd just block her and move on.
I think the likelihood of meeting a good catch (at your age) in a club is a bit... unrealistic.
The people you will meet at a club are there to have a good time with friends, let their hair down, or find something casual. In my estimation. It's kind of like going to the shooting range hoping to pick up a pacifist...
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