A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I found racey IM messages between my fiance and his female cousin. They were talking about having sex with each other and planning when etc. I was so upset, I asked him about and he said they were really close and just playing. I told him that playing or not that was pervert and I want nothing to do with it and I could never look at him or her the same again. Well, I left and have not spoken to him. He keeps calling but I have nothing to say to him.I am I being unrational ?
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female
reader, Wonder79 +, writes (7 June 2009):
I share the opinion of the previous reply. I think you did the right thing. You made a point to draw a line, letting your fiancee know that you will not put up with that kind of sneaky cheating in your relationship.
Even if the woman he had been IMing had not been his cousin, he would still have been in the wrong. If he has asked you to marry him, he has a responsibility to be loyal to you. Exchanging racy messages and planning for sex with another woman is cheating and, since he hid these exchanges with his cousin from you, he obviously knew what he was doing was wrong and a betrayal to you.
I think you are doing the right thing by not responding to his calls... at least, not until you are ready. Stick to your guns in this matter. Don't be wishy washy or else, if you two ever reconcile, he will know he can get away with things like that and you will still take him back. Stick to your convictions.
I wish you all the best and I hope this situation resolves in a way that best benefits you. Good luck.
A
female
reader, kitty_3 +, writes (7 June 2009):
 in my opinion? yes. planning to have sex with his cousin-- joking or not-- is just wrong. first of all, they're family. (can you say incest?) second, that would be cheating on you.unless he comes up with a better explanation, i think you made a wise decision.
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