A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy in a dating site. I am from the Philippines, he is from USA. We have lots of things in common… we agreed to no commitment with anyone, just stay as pals and someday meet in person. He kept telling me that he will not commit, he can’t love online, coz he wouldn’t know if there’s chemistry in person. We met Feb2008. Recently, I invited him to join Facebook, he never added me. I saw one Filipina online there in his list. I talked to her, she said they have been lovers since June 2008. He was telling me even after he became this girl’s bf that he will not commit, that he cannot love someone in her religion, but all he told me… was all opposite to what he was really doing. He said he is not convertible, but this gal said that he might convert. We agreed that once we met someone, we’ll tell each other, but whenever I asked him if he has a gf, he would deny it. This gal talks to him alone, while this guy talks to many women. I like this guy, he is a Christian, his family is famous in USA. He emailed me saying that only desperate people who says they are in love online just recently, haha, but he has been saying he loves this gal since June 2008. I was upset, I let the gal see his emails.It’s hard to believe what he did, coz of things he told me before. I accused him being a player before coz he was on this site for hours and he said he doesn’t chat there, he just forget to close the window, and I accused him of lying, all I accused him is true, but he made me feel guilty, I felt guilty of course coz I thought I was wrong about him, but goodness, June2008 he started to have online gf, and after that he kept saying he has not found the right one, he will not commit, he cant love someone in a cultic religion. This girl still talks to him even after reading this guy’s emails mocking her beliefs saying only desperate people say the 3 words online, saying he is still searching for the one. Did he play me or what? We we’re never bf/gf online just pals.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, how can I make this guy feel guilty?
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (20 August 2009):
 Yes, I'm pretty sure he did. A LOT of guys ( and girls) get on online dating sites even if they are in a relationship, and they do pick a "partner" who is physical far away, that way it is usually easy to claim that nothing is going on because she/ he is so far away. Now your guy is chatting up 2 girls from the Philippines.
For whatever reason, I think this guy is living in a fantasy world- saying what he "thinks" you want to hear to you and what he "thinks" the other girls wants to hear as well, JUST to get both of you to pay attention to him.
He is not being honest nor sincere to EITHER of you. If she chooses to keep in contact then let her, you have done a nice thing in letting her know what you know.
I would, Like Gina suggested, delete him of your facebook, IM, E-mail.. and drop him. He is a waste of your time.
Sorry and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Jolin  +, writes (20 August 2009):
 you can be anyone and ANYTHING online dating..
here's what will be happening..anybody can find 100 bf/gf in a day on online dating.. online dating is the simplest way to find bf/gf..
it's better to find bf/gf NOT from the online dating.
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