A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is the 2nd time i broke up with my boyfriend. But now I know this one is for sure.The reason we broke up 2 months ago was i found out he was cheating on me. I asked him to choose but he said he is already in love with this new girl so I decided to let go. Just an hour after we said our goodbyes, he said sorry to me and told me i mean so much to him and he doesnt want to lose me. So i gave him the 2nd chance as i still love him.We were ok for a while, as a matter of fact he was nicer and sweeter than ever. But i was stubborn, I change my looks and started entertaining other guys. He noticed the changes in me and confronted me why i was doing it. I reminded him how he killed me when he cheated on me and said to him to be happy I was still around. He apologized again for what happened and asked how he can make up with what he had done. The problem is I had a strong feeling he was still seeing this girl. Yet i cannot ask him directly as I know he will lie to me. But he showed he had changed a lot for the better. During these times, i have also proven how he still loves me. He started making plans for both of us like going to some place, putting up a business in the future etc. He hugged me more often, held my hand, wanted to see me every night and always contacted me first.Then one day, after a series of nights i refused to go out with him..he texted me saying that he felt so strongly that i am finally dating a new guy and i will ditch him. I said its not true which was true ofcourse. I thought he believed me as he stopped accusing me. Then he went out of town during the weekend and never contacted me for a day. I was worried sick what happened to him so I contacted his cousin. I didn't know he didn't like what I did. So the next day, we had a very serious fight which in the end he said to me that we cant see each other anymore. I agreed to what he said and I told him i felt after our first break up from his cheating, I seemed to have lost some love for him. Then he was so angry, he texted me at night saying he doesn't feel anything anymore about me too. He sent me a series of text messages which at the end he said that even though he doesnt feel anything for me..he said that I should be careful when choosing to date and that he was worried about me if i continued to date this person he is suspecting me for. That I should be careful with my money and not lend it to anyone. That I am better than most girls out there and that I have ethics which he cannot find anywhere else. He always says this even before. He says I have white heart he cant find with any other girl that's why he loves me so much. To all of this messages, I never replied because of my anger. He never contacted me again after my silence.Now please help me on this, why did he say all those things to me of he doesn't have feelings for me anymore? A week before that he said he loves me so much. And we also have unfinished business together which we should solve first. I am willing to move on but i am scared he will contact me again for these things. How can I move on? It's been 3 weeks now since we last had communication. My head wants to move on but my heart is not so willing yet. Please help me.
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broke up, cheated on me, cousin, money, move on, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SIG  +, writes (17 May 2009):
The first time you broke up he may have come back to you because he either lost the other girl or he really didn't want to lose you. But if you didn't trust him to tell you the truth if you were to have asked him about seeing the other girl again then this time you should follow your head and not your heart. If you are not going to completely forgive him to the point of restoring complete trust then its not going to work out if you contact him now and try to get back together. A relationship without trust is not worth the time and energy.
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