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Did he like me? What should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 August 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 August 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Dear aunts,

I'll try and be as brief as possible (unfortunately this will be very longwinded), but I am looking for some advice and I really didn't know where to turn to, so here I am. Well I am a gay male, and a few months ago I was not scouting around for some romance, but somehow there was this guy I think I fell for. And I really cannot get him out of my head. The thing is, I don't allow myself to get close to anyone unless they go out of their way to get to know me. Even so, most people can usually deduce I am gay. I've told a number of close friends, who I am sure have told people from high school. Anyway, I never talked to this guy while in high school, but we knew of each other since we belonged to the same organization club, and graduated in the same class.

Then a year later after high school graduation I coincidently saw him again in my painting studio class in college. There was a lot of eye contact from both sides throughout the entire course, but I figured our mutual eye contact was due to the fact we knew of each other from high school. Well that class came to an end, and we never spoke during. However, if that weren't enough once again we happened to enroll in the same course last January. This time it was different, after the first two sessions of that class he worked his way to talk to me. At first, I figured he sought a friend in a familiar face.

At any rate, I started to fall for him unexpectedly as I got to know him more because there were some subtle signs on his part that kind of made it seem he was interested in me. Aside the fact, we always sat by each other every single day of class, and we'd go to class early just to have conversations. He seemed to always kind of stutter when I talked to him(this was very cute), and always looked me in the eye. I also recall that he would always offer me anything he was snacking on. At some point my feelings of just seeing him as a friend shifted to a romantic interest--I felt kind of over my head, because again I wasn't sure (still not) if he is gay. .

So the last class session we took a final, and I happened to finish before him. So I waited for him outside of class for over thirty minutes, just to say goodbye and let him know it was a pleasure talking with him for the six months we took the course. At which point I figured he would just be creeped out, but would say goodbye and that would be that. Much to my surprise being as shy as he is, he stepped he out of his shell and asked me for my phone number. I wish I could say that the story continued from there...but no calls to this date. And I haven't heard from him. I didn't write his phone number either. I recently saw that a mutual friend of ours added him to facebook(like a week ago), so I presume he's new to facebook. I just don't know where to go with that though...I figured if he likes me he'll add me, but maybe I read too much into my own story and I kind of just fell for him. So finally to get to the bottom my questions are: Do you think he liked me? Did I look too much in to the events that happened? Should I just abondon the ship and move on? What should I do?

View related questions: facebook, move on, shy

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A male reader, yum yum Switzerland +, writes (13 August 2010):

yum yum agony auntI am Gay and have had some experience. I am sure that you are not looking too much in the events that happened. I think he could be a bit of a closet case because he is afraid to act upon his sexuality. Get to know him better before you make advances on him.

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A male reader, groovymoving Estonia +, writes (13 August 2010):

Well, you obviously have nothing to lose if he finds out you're interested in him, for you don't have a friendship that might get ruined and in case he decides to tell the whole world you're gay, well, people already know. But if he has feelings for you, or at least interest in you, something wonderful may start between the two of you. Besides, if you don't tell him, you'll probably regret it for a long while.

I would suggest to start slowly, though. Add him on Facebook and start a conversation by saying that... That you'd like to continue your conversations, for instance. If possible, meet him up outside the virtual world. And eventually, open up to him. Although he might actually happen to be the first one to do it. ;)

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A male reader, AvgGuy1 United States +, writes (13 August 2010):

AvgGuy1 agony auntOne - I'll BET your friend is gay. TWO - I'll bet he likes you! No one spends as much time with you being as nice as he is/was with as much eye contact as I imagine... and not liking you. I hate to say this... but you really blew it, so to speak, by not getting his number/email address. However... if you are BOTH on facebook... why not 'friend' him? Send a note along with it telling him you wish he'd call, and include your phone number; again. He may have lost it.

If he's really as shy as you say... then YOU need to make the first move (so to speak).

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