| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Is there anything I can do? My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me 8 months ago and as you can probably guess I've had a tough, very depressed time trying to get on with my life. I thought he was the man I would spend the rest of my life with but instead I was forced to move out of the flat we bought together because I couldn't afford to live there alone. I'm slowly excepting that I'm now alone but what I find strange is I've met up with him twice and each time he's looked a mess, miserable and sounded like his life is going no-where. He broke up with me cos he felt we didn't have a future but the way he's so depressed I'm wondering whether he's left me because he thinks my life will be better without him...the thing was I loved him with all my heart and don't want anyone else. Any advice...what do I do?
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female
reader, Juliette  +, writes (31 December 2006):
 From what you describe I would tell him. You have been close enough to him for all those years and perhaps he needed to see if you gave up easily. If you are right and he is depressed and feeling unworthy then you would have done the right thing. If you are wrong, you only have a bit of dignity to lose and since you love him that won't matter. Do be careful though, because if what you suspect is true, it doesn't mean you will convinve him and he may still reject you, believing in his world of negative thinking, that you would be better off without him. All you could do is tell him you love him and want to support him whatever is wrong, but get on with your life if he doesn't as no-one can know what is really in his mind and I doubt you'd want to play a long waiting game. Ask him if his health is OK just in case he has had some news he doesn't want to dump on you, although asking is no guarrantee he would tell you is it?
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