Depressed boyfriend thinks that there are problems in the relationship that he cant put into words...Iv given him the space that he wants...but what can I do now??

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. In the past, he broke up with me for a month because he was depressed, but then he realized that he was lonely and wasn't afraid of a relationship with me and came back. Recently his depression has become worse due to medical reasons that have skewed what his previous life plans were. He says he wants space because he doesn't know who he is. He says he's scared and confused. He says he thinks that there are problems in the relationship but he can't put them into words. He says he doesn't know if he should be in a relationship right now. He no longer wears the promise ring I gave him and every time I would ask him a question about the relationship he responded with an I don't know. I've moved out to give him his space, but it's so hard to not talk to him. I don't know where we stand because I'm trying to give him his space; I did ask once and he said he didn't know. He says he doesn't know if he needs to be single or stay in a relationship to find who he is. He never actually broke up with me, and he still said things like he wanted me to go to his band's show in a month. These positive comments mixed with the neutral ones have me confused. I feel broken-hearted but I can't bring myself to do anything. All I want is to be supportive and give him the space he needs but it's so hard when I get mixed messages. I don't know what I should do, if I should talk to him to ask him out with me (everyone says to wait until he comes to me) or if he'll come back to me. I honestly don't think any of this would be happening if it wasn't for his extreme depression, and I just want to be supportive and loving and hope that he'll want to continue the relationship. But the last time I talked to him, he couldn't even say he loves me. Every question is answered by an I don't know. Any advice?

View related questions: broke up, depressed, his ex, mixed messages, moved out

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