A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello! My husband and I have been in a disagreement lately. he plays games on his computer all evening and then waits until after 10pm when I want to go to sleep to come to bed and ask for sex. I have told him multiple times that if he would come to bed earlier then he would definitely get some. We can't do it any earlier because we have small children in the house so it would have to be after their bed time. I've even suggested us doing our thing right after kids go to bed and then he can get on his computer. He says he wouldn't get any time on his game if he did that. He really upset me when I told him at dinner that he would most definitely get lucky if he did not get on his game before bed. Well..he got on his game anyways....and then the following evening he got home before I did and watched porn. I was mad because I didn't get any from him the night before but he is making time for porn. He blamed it on me and said if I would just do it when HE wants then it wouldn't be a problem. Well I work long hours and don't feel like staying up late and waiting for him to finish his game first. Any advice on a compromise here?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2016): This sounds more like a power struggle about the principle of the thing. Healthy guys this age don't just give up sex because they cannot be bothered to make a few minutes for it.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 October 2016):
 You have compromised enough. He is choosing a silly game over being intimate with you. I am sorry that he is neglecting you over a game. I really don't know what you can do other than talking to him about how he is making you feel.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2016): He's very immature. Sounds like a troubled teenager not a loving partner. He chooses a game over you. He chooses porn over you. Do you need any more clues he just uses you when he feels like it? I don't have advice on a compromise. I don't think you should.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (16 October 2016):
 Well, you couldn't have laid it out in any simpler terms for him. It is HIS choice at the end of the day whether he chooses to play games or have sex with you.
I think you have been more than reasonable. He is the one being selfish and rigid.
I really don't know what to suggest. Perhaps hiding his computer so he can't play one night and instead seducing him upstairs for some better games? Or would that just make him angry?
He sounds addicted to his games, at the cost of intimacy in your relationship. How very sad.
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