A
male
age
,
*hs1958
writes:Hello. I would like to ask a question. I am divorced for some 5 years now. My oldest daughter is married and has a wonderful husband and two beautiful daughters. Her husband's mother is also divorced for now over 2 years. We have been chating and have been to dinner a few times and have become rather close. I am 51 and she is 48. Is there anything wrong with us dating and/or taking this friendship to the next level? We are very happy with each other thus far and we really enjoy each other's company. From a ethical, moral or religious standpoint, is what we are doing wrong? I mean we are not really kin to each other. My daughter says she thinks it is wierd and just cannot bring herself to think that it is alright. I really need to know how to handle this because we seem to be getting rather close to each other. Your response is appreciated. Thanks!
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reader, mhs1958 +, writes (2 June 2010):
mhs1958 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really appreciate your responses. Thanks for everything! I would like to hear more! (good or bad) Thanks again!
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (1 June 2010):
 You sound like a thoughtful and considerate man, taking into account that you may make your daughter uncomfortable, for this I applaud you.
If this is your SIL's mother, what's the difference?
It's not as though she's your blood-relation or anything weird like that.
Barring any other pertinent information to this, I see no reason why your becoming involved on a romantic level with your daughter's MIL would be untoward or distasteful. Damn the torpedoes, dude! Be happy. And unless your daughter can provide you with substantiated, well-defined reasons (beyond "weird") why this would be inappropriate, or cause needless conflict then I think you're in the clear. Let us know how it goes and good luck!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 June 2010):
 I think it is fine, as long as you are both mature enough to still be around each other in case the relationship fails. It is weird for your daughter only because she for so long has seen you two in different roles, apart from each other. To have those two roles swapped and twisted is confusing. Would be for anyone. But all that needs is time and she should be able to adapt and view it differently.
But like I said, your daughters opinion shouldn't factor in too much if you ask me. This is your life after all, and you are free to date whomever you please. The only problem is that, in case it doesn't work out, will the family be broken up? Will you and this woman cause trouble for your daughter and her husband? Will you create scenes?
If you can end the relationship as friends and still be around each other, in case it doesn't work out, then it is all good. If you fear that things might get out of hand after a hypothetical break-up, maybe it is best to reconsider. This woman is, after all, not just someone you can ignore for the rest of your life without hurting your family.
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