A
female
age
30-35,
*rystalh
writes:a little history of my situation. i recently left a physically and mentally abusive man. shortly after that, i started seeing a friend of a friend. we like each other quite a bit, thats not a question. he has never been in a "serious" relationship, just a few "hit-it-and-quit-it's" im not sure if i can teach him the basics of being in a serious relationship and work on healing myself from the damage that they last guy did. there are a few issues in our relationship that are making me ask myself if i can do this. i do not feel that he treats me like he should, i feel more like a hit-it-and-quit-it, not a serious girlfriend, i have a hard time getting him to open up about anything and get any answer other that "i dont know" about anything serious, and im just not sure if he truely wants to be with me (i do plan on asking him when i see him next, but just because i ask doesnt mean i'll get a truthful answer).so my quesiton is does anyone have any advice on how i could work on the few things that are bothering me or opinions of if the relationship is worth my time and effort or not would be greatly appreciated, thank you Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Dr Vendetta  +, writes (14 May 2010):
 Other reasons...??
.. so either you're playing the field or you don't trust the bf..
also. using circumstances to personal gain.. they Were all about sex and only sex. either way i stand by my original statement.
A
female
reader, crystalh +, writes (13 May 2010):
crystalh is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDr.V, you are too right that he used the situations to his advantage, but honestly how would it be fair to condem him for something many people have done just because of the circumstances? and i dont mean having meaningless sex, just simply using a situation for personal gain.
he was recently tested, i have seen the paper work. as have i, and i plan on getting tested every six months for other reasons.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (13 May 2010):
"he had two one night stands and one encounter that lasted two weeks, the girls were told before hand"....
nto a player in the multipul numbers. but certainly using the situations to his advantage.
should probably get tested for the clap and herpes if the girls he screwed are that easy.
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A
female
reader, crystalh +, writes (10 May 2010):
crystalh is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your advice. i will most likely dump him this afternoon, after i talk to him.
i do agree that he may be using me, but i would also like to disagree to the statement that he's a player, he had two one night stands and one encounter that lasted two weeks, the girls were told before hand that he did not want a relationship with them. yes, this sounds rediculous, but i also know it to be a fact, as i've spoken with two of them.
thank you again for your help
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 May 2010):
I'm with Doctor V I'm afraid. You seem to be picking men who are abusers. You need to end it with this man before you get hurt again. It's clear that he's a player and that he will use you. You need to end it.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (10 May 2010):
...Its like i never left.
My dear. it seems you are the inexperienced one.
"he has never been in a "serious" relationship, just a few "hit-it-and-quit-it's" " Aka a Player.
So you've just got out of an abusive realtionship and you're still healing? Chances are you've just come out of one abusive relationship into another.
heres what you do. Dump him.
and stay single for a good 6 months... and do not go on a rant of how great he is. and how lovely he is and blah blah blasknsgfsdjglse hbngfbmbv
because thats the sign of yet another abusive relationship. he's ignoring you and using you.
Dr V.
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