A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a friend for months now, things were going great until they took a turn for the absolute worst. He found out a few weeks ago that his dad is sick and has about a year to live. I've seen him upset over it and I've even seen him cry and he says that he hated me seeing him like that. I've done my best trying to be there for him these past couple weeks, calling to see if he's ok, letting him know i'm here if he needs anything and he's ignored me every single time. I finally texted him asking if we could start over as friends and he replied saying that we don't even have to start over and he feels bad for putting me through this but right now he has to. I don't understand what is going on with this situation, I'm hurt that he pushed me out of his life the way he did. It's been another week and I still haven't heard from him. Should I give him some more space and time to see if we could work things out? It's been about 3 weeks. Or should I just let it go and move on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): you can be a listening post to him. But his first priority is to make his father comfortable, give him loving support and care over the next 12 months. This is his time to repay his Father with love and care for all his father did for him in the past. And time to talk things over with his father. And say goodbye gently over time. And support and listen to his father when his father feels too tired to go on. If you have never been very close to a dying person you may not understand the issues. He will never get this chance to say goodbye and care for his father. Would you want to deny him this opportunity to show his love for his father? And the time you need to wait will be a test of your commitment to your friend. If it is too much to ask you to wait a year then tell him now. Otherwise think of all the women in WWI and WWII who had to wait perhaps 2, 3, 4 or 5 years before they saw their loved one again.
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