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Crazy obsessed women wants my man!

Tagged as: Cheating, Social Media, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 February 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 17 February 2017)
A female United States age 30-35, *ovelygirl03 writes:

This lady had sex with my bf. They now share a kid together. She is obsessive over my bf. She is 10-11 years older than us. Recently she has stalked our Instagram a. But she blocked us but only unblocked my bf. I know she still wants my man. But I'm curious why she has me blocked I have nothing of her kid on my social media. Help

View related questions: stalking

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2017):

So he slept with this woman before or after he was dating you? Your post is vague but it sounds like he cheated.

You shouldn't keep a cheater around. Of course you will be insecure. Get rid of him.

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A female reader, lovelygirl03 United States +, writes (15 February 2017):

lovelygirl03 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'm not obsessed or insecure.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2017):

You need to focus on the facts and not the imagination.

You are over thinking it and it's not good for you because you are quite insecure. So don't allow your imagination to take over cuz that is deadly poisonous.

Just focus on the facts. Fact - Your BF is with YOU, not her. Your BF loves YOU, not her. Why? Because your BF is with YOU!

You can't change the fact they have a baby together. But you should focus on the fact that, that will be their ONLY baby and their ONLY connection. But YOU, YOU AND YOUR BF can have MANY babies together, YOU & YOUR BF can get married, have a family, have so much more that she will NEVER have!

You can't control who she befriends on social media. But YOU can control what she sees when she chooses to be friends with your BF. If you got it, flaunt it woman. Post those lovey dovey kissy photos on your BF social media. Give her something to look at since, as you say she is stalking your BF page. So go ahead and post, let her be reminded of WHO YOUR BF is with now. Soon, she will unfriend him. You just sit back and enjoy the moment! There is no need to be insecure. He is with YOU not her. Always remember that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2017):

That is a tough position to be in.

You have a boyfriend who cheated on you and got another woman pregnant and now this woman has his "love child" and wields that kid around like a weapon, in order to get his attention and control his life, ruining yours in the process.

What should you have done to avoid all this drama?

You should have walked away the moment he cheated and knocked up some other chick.

Ditch him and you ditch the drama. You should have ditched him the moment he double dipped, honey. Sorry. He is just a heart break in the making. :(

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (14 February 2017):

They share a child! What can you do? I don't get your concern about being blocked by her on social media. Why should you even care? You don't even like her!

You kept your boyfriend in spite of his having sex and a child with another woman. So baby-mama drama is part of the package.

If you don't want to deal with the baby-mama, you'll have to dump the man.

She's going to be a part of his life as long as they share a kid together. She is also going to be a thorn in your side, until she finds someone for herself. I guess then you'll relax?

I don't think she wants your man as much as you think. I think she just wants child-support and for him to acknowledge the child they have. You may be a little jealous and paranoid, because you don't trust him. You can't follow-up on her interactions on social media. She doesn't want to deal with your spying. She has to maintain contact with the father of her child. Like it or not! If he hides it from you, then deal with him. Not her!

It seems your boyfriend offers you no reassurances and you don't trust him. So why are you sticking around?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 February 2017):

Honeypie agony auntYou really can't do anything and unfortunately, your BF can't cut the contact as they share a child. THIS woman will be in your LIVES as long as you DATE him (or be with him). Those are the facts.

Stalking Instagram/Social Media in apparently the "new normal" - it's how people keep tabs on others.

DOES she NEED to have access to your BF's Instagram or other social media? No. My guess is, she BLOCKED you because you were on HER Instagram as well. Otherwise, how would you know? And does it matter? Absolutely not! She can block, unfollow, follow whoever she wants to - same for you. Which means... YOU can just block HER.

And she probably unblocked him so he can see what's up in her life and the life of his kid (if she posts about that too) - but here is the thing with social media - HE DOESN'T have ANY obligation to follow her. Babymomma or not. HE has made that choice, hasn't he? Maybe that is the REAL problem? That he follows HER on Instagram and you don't like it?

To be honest here? Aren't you a little too old and (hopefully) wise to be playing these high school games of stalking each other's social media, block and unblocking?

YOU HAVE NO control over her and HER actions. When you make a social website (be it Facebook, Instagram or whatever) you LET PEOPLE into your "online life". So if there are people YOU do not want to let in USE the various tools of those websites to BLOCK them. It's easy.

Sounds like you are either insecure in your relationship and see this baby momma as a competitor and I have to wonder why? He isn't WITH her. He is with you. Is his contact with her generally inappropriate? Do the talk about other things than the kid? Do they spend time together? Does he see his kid on a regular basis? What exactly is making YOU go so "crazy" over this? It's SOCIAL MEDIA for goodness sake. NOT real life. Now if she STALKED him or you in "real life" I'd say you have an issue that you need to pay heed to. But you don't - she isn't harassing you in Instagram she is just LOOKING - and that you can stop her from doing by simply blocking her.

I think you need to take a long look at what's REALLY going on here. Are you mad that you can't "stalk" her anymore as she has blocked you? If so, why? Her life is none of your business.

If she has a crush on your BF or is obsessed - then HE needs to deal with it. This is HIS drama. Why make it your drama too? Talk some boundaries with him if you feel his interactions with her are inappropriate but remember they SHARE a kid and thus NEED to have some contact as the kid is ALSO his responsibility. He MADE that kid too.

So I think you need to figure out what your REAL problem is here. I don't really think it has to do with Instagram at all.....

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