A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm after an answer to my problem. I split up with my ex after being treated very badly (he finished it). That was now nearly a year ago yet I feel like crying quite a lot when I think of him.Could I be depressed? I wanted to be friends but he refuses to talk to me, but then I was very nasty to him because I was hurt and said a lot of things, some true and some things were just said to get under his skin. I beat myself up about that because I'm normally a kind person, but wanted him to feel just one iota of how he made me feel. I apologised to him for that and explained that. I feel that if he gave me closure (I asked him for that a year ago and didn't get it)I would feel better and less confused.He was just nasty and told me that he never loved me or cared about me. Part of me wants him back but I don't know how to go about this, and the other part of me wants to get on with my life but I am finding this really hard. I am scared that life is passing me by and I will be alone forever because I'm too screwed up and scared to trust anyone else. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to those who replied.Was helpful to know that there is someone else out there as well who has had the same experience as me.I felt like a freak because everybody else just seems to get over a break up quickly whereas I am still getting over it. Have blocked him from websites etc and told him so. Feel empowered now and figure I don't need tablets I just need to kick his ass right out of my life because he's not worthy to be part of it. Today is the first day of the rest of my life! Thanx guys xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008): My first ever boyfriend and first love broke up with me on the 31st of August 2007. Over the last year I felt determined to find out what went wrong and how to get him back, and in the end I did find out what went wrong. I had made so many mistakes and not even realised because I was "drugged up" with lurve, things that seemed like a good idea at the time but actually did not help the direction things were going in.On the 20th of August 2008 I left him a message on bebo [it's gotten to the point where that's my only contact with him..] saying that I was blocking him because he never seemed to reply anymore and how crappy it made me feel. It was mostly to stop myself from leaving him these little messages in the hope that he'd not forget about me and reply [a rubbish plan that doesn't work on a decent guy]. After a week I hadn't gotten any reply from him, I figured that was that. Then on the 30th of August 2008 he sent me an actual email for once, telling me how he's never on bebo, never on MSN, and so I could go ahead and block him. It felt like he was challenging me, taunting me, as if he may as well of written, "Go ahead and block me, I don't give a shit. You're doing me a favor. We both know you want me more than I want you."After yet another night of crying [yeah, I spent a lot of nights crying in the past year, even when he wasn't being harsh], I had a revelation. I would learn from this, I'd become better equipped to handle situation than I was before. I'd become a better lass. "And nice one, ex-boyfriend. You just got lucky when I came along and fell in love with you, but you just jumped off the ride a split second before it actually got good. Gutted for you."His timing was impeccable. To send me that message that would give me the kick I needed exactly a year after he dumped me in the first place...Shit, sorry, I've written my life story XD And now I don't wanna delete it, cos it's sort of similar to your story. And I want my ex back, but not right now. He needs to grow up first. He a good year lagging behind me...
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (2 September 2008):
 You dont need him back you need to move on. If he had wanted to come back he would have by now. Yes it sounds to me as though you are not in a truly happy place right now. you have options. You can shake yourself and say right today is the day I start my new life, or you can go to the docs and tell them how you feel. They may prescribe pills and they may work. You need to get out there and live your life again. Not every man you meet will treat you how he did, you hurt because you loved him but it doesnt mean he was right for you. Get yourself back out there, work on what you have to give and be strong and confident and hopefully you wont need any pills. x
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