A
male
age
,
*lright
writes: Hello i went on a date with a woman, she sent e,mail, i think date went ok . she sent, e,mail next day said , lovley day , lovley gent. next day i sent an e,mail saying i wanted to give her a kiss on the date , but i did not want too risk it on first date. i told her this she said aahhh not interested, but we have kept in touch by text and e, mail. i have her mobile number , she has mine , but only texts me if i text her first . She goes cycling by canal, i also have bike . She said it,s amazin who you meet on canals or out and about on it x you,ll get fit too x hope your day goes well x . THE question is , is she encouraging me to meet her again by chance on the canal ?
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (14 August 2012):
 Maybe you can cultivate a friendship with this woman and learn how to be around other women too?
I don't think that WE (women) in general expect a certain behavior from guys, it all depended on the guy and the situation. Don't play a part, be yourself.
A
male
reader, alright +, writes (14 August 2012):
alright is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hello thank you for your replies . i accept now that it is only friendship, but i don,t want to risk losing that as well. I am 48 and she is 42 , and i have always been too nice , and shy all my life , but gradually growing out of it . I am too imature when i talk to women. I can be mature and more grown up if i want to , but when i talk/ text women i am too nice/ imature. because that,s the way i been brought up. Do you think i should just be mature/ grown up with her. and text her a bit dirty/ smutty jokes ? i,ve already texted 2 clean funny jokes and she said they were very funny . i am also going to reduce the times i text her. and she may start too miss me, but she may find another man soon as she said i,ts no good being on your own [ meaning her] so it,s a risk i,ll have to take. she does not swear, but should i include some swear words in my texts. so she sees me as tuff/ mature and not a wimp. or will being mature using the odd swear word ruin friendship as well ? I just don,t know what women want me to be , serious, daft, grown up, not grown up. i feel like an actor who the director won,t say what character part too play. so then the film/ play is a disaster. Thank you
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 August 2012):
I think if she specifically wanted to meet you she would tell you that she ride her bikes bu so-so spot on the canal around XXpm.
Her explanation was rather vague, which usually is a nice way or polite way of NOT committing. I highly doubt she would expect you to stalk the canals in hope to meet her.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (14 August 2012):
 'Canals' being a bit specific as opposed to a non commital 'out and about', you mean?
It's not as specific as a setting up a date, time and particular place to meet so it tells me she is happy to cross paths with you now and then, but not going out of her way to nurture a close friendship.
Once she trusts that you won't pursue her, that you will accept her as a platonic friend she may one day feel comfortable enough to arrange a specific outting.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (14 August 2012):
 She probably didn't put too much thought into it, just wrote the first thing that she thought of in a chatty way. She might have mentioned her yoga class or book club, but it wouldn't have meant she was inviting you to join her.
Don't read too much into this. You might come across as creepy if you persue this. I recommend not to contact her for a week to two (if at all) and try to divert your attentions to something else.
She is not interested in you romantically and isn't sending you coded messages about the canal. I think you might have mistaken her polite emails after the date as a 'come on' but she's made it crystal clear that she doesn't like you that way.
Most of us have been on dates where we like the person more than they like us. It's not nice, and it can be disappointing, but it is part and parcel of dating.
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A
male
reader, alright +, writes (13 August 2012):
alright is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hello to the 3 people who answered , my question , could i ask your views , about why the woman chose to say canals . instead of just saying out and about , as she used or . To seperate canals from out and about , as if she is saying canal is more important than out and about. So i think maybe she wants me to cycle along canal ? but if it,s only friendship she is interested, then that,s ok with me. i was just wondering why she used Or to seperate canals from out and about . Thank you
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A
male
reader, alright +, writes (13 August 2012):
alright is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 August 2012):
No, I'm sorry she told you straight up that she isn't interested.
IF you want a romantic relationship.. move on.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (13 August 2012):
No she's not encouraging you to meet her by chance. She said she is not interested in you romantically and it sounds like she's being friendly, mentioning a possible place for meeting people as you're single, or emphasising that she's on the look out to meet new people (hint: look elsewhere).
I think that if she wanted to meet up with you again she would say it directly. It's not as if she is coy about her feelings - she was quite blunt/ open with you when she said she's not interested. Maybe stop texting her unless you're happy to just have a friendly relationship with her?
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (13 August 2012):
This woman informed you very clearly, very early on that she was not interested. She is not beating around the bush, playing games or trying to be coy and she doesn't initiate contact. She really is not interested.
She is receptive to friendship because she thinks you understand and accept her position. If you try to push for more you'll be personna non grata very quickly.
There is no romantic potential here.
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