A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I need some major advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months and some change. He gave me a key to his house because when I stay the night I will stay at his house when he leaves for work. The only rule with the key is that I let him know ahead of time if I am going to be there when he is not there. Well, I stayed at his house the other night and left in the morning. I thought I left my phone charger at his house and really needed it that day because my phone was dying and I was waiting on an important phone call. I texted and called him to let him know i would be coming by to get it, but he didn't reply to my texts, so needing the charger badly I headed over to his house to get it anyway. He said the day before he would be with his dad early in the morning and wouldn't be back until later, so I wasn't expecting him to be there. Well when I got there I found him and one of our friends in his bed. They were fully clothed and just talking, but it really shocked me. The both said it was nothing, that it just looked worse than it was. His friend had stayed the night before and got drunk and didn't want to drive so he stayed overnight. My bf got a little irritated that I came over and took my key. We talked later and he said it was ok, he just didn't like me showing up unannounced (he didn't get my texts and calls because he was overslept, he later went to see his dad shortly after I left). So I asked him if anything was going on with him and our friend and he said nothing was going on. He has never given me a reason to not trust him so I believed him. Well when we were getting off the phone I asked if everything was ok and he said yes, he just felt we spend too much time together and we should see each other a little less during the week, but everything was still ok. I was cool with that. I told him I loved him and he just said bye, I told him again and he said ok bye. He always tells me he loves me and i texted him and told him if everything was ok he would tell me he loves me. He texted me back saying we would talk tomorrow. What should I do? What do you think is going on with him? Do I believe what he has told me? I am so confused, everything was great up until this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): That is odd, but not odd enough to make you react rashly. Don't let if freak you out. Just go about your life, seeing him less as per his request, and see where it goes. That isn't a terribly long relationship, so there could totally be things abou him that you have no idea about. Keep you eyes and mind open to him because he may surprise you with a completely rational reason for hanging around in bed ith his pal. If it happens alot and you get the feeling that it's not "nothing" than follow your heart. But for now I woud just be respectful and vigilant.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 He should not be acting that way. That is not right. It looks like he does not want you to know about his other personal life.
Listen to what he has to say tomorrow .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): this could go a dozen different ways. Wait and let him make the next move, listen to what he says and go with your gut feeling.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): Your other friend is a guy correct? Are you suspecting your boyfriend might be gay?
Guys sleep in each other's beds (Fully clothed) all the time after a long night or something, it's really no big deal. Unless if you suspect that he is gay I wouldn't be worried. I know he said he was supposed to be with his Dad and shouldn't have been there in the first place, but sometimes plans change. The only thing you should worry about is the fact that he thinks you guys need to spend less time. I'm not sure why he would say this unless if you're spending copious amounts of time with him.
Give him the benefit of the doubt this time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): He is bein shady. Why you tellin him you love him, though? You only been together 3 months. Drop him, you'll see he's not worth it
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): Red flags darling. Displacement of guilt, detachment, and very....very questionable circumstances. He is a shady guy. I say be on alert from now on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): So he was laying fully clothed in a one person bed with his male friend, or a king size bed and talking or what? I dont think anything was going on, why would he give you keys to his place if he wanted to have affairs, it doesnt make sense. He is just upset that you abused his trust and locked yourself in even when he strictly told you not to. You could have just rang the doorbell to check if he was home or not and there wouldnt have been an issue. I think you are just trying to justify that you coming by unannounced was a good thing because you supposedly caught him in the act. Dont get me wrong, you are just shocked and surprised and overwhelmed by your bf's cold behaviour, so you draw these conclusions. But I think that before you label him a cheater (and a gay one as such), calm down, relax, and have that talk with him in the morning. And yes, for the time being, just trust his words and that he wasnt doing anything wrong.
However, in your defense, I think he was over reacting a bit much by taking the key away. I get that he was upset, but punishing you by taking the key and not saying he loves you is going too far. But that happens sometimes, people aren't perfect.
Talk to him tomorrow before you decide upon anything.
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A
female
reader, molson5070 +, writes (7 April 2010):
 you need to give him space! trust me if you are asking if "everything is ok" you look needy and he will subconsciously feel less attracted to you.
It doesn't make sense but its just the way it is. I wrote a article about getting back an ex boyfriend and it talks a little more about why a boyfriend will break up with you and how to fix the problem
http://hubpages.com/hub/getting-back-your-ex-boyfriend
ironically this situation is similar to this subject. So how to fix this? Seem very happy and upbeat when he calls you and DONT bring up and dwell on the subject! If he breaks p with you tell him you AGREE with the breakup while still trying NOT to act sad or depressed. and whatever you do do not tell him you still love him/ want him back. it'll only do more harm then good.
Good Luck
Ashley
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