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Child porn located on his computer! Now what?

Tagged as: Pornography, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 March 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 1 April 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi i recently found numerous videos of child pornography (VERY VERY GRAPHIC TITLES AND HORRIBLE FREEZE FRAMES, NEVER WATCHED BY ME I CAN ONLY STARE AT THE SAVED FILES)on both my boyfriends computers, both of which the children use and his profiles on these are easy to access, no password, i find this man completely disturbed and Im starting to realise he has almost split personaltiy like behaviour when confronted, this whole issue came out of my mouth after a huge argument about me making a phonecall to my friends and him prying by asking who, who over n over hes crazy and unfortunately I have no where to go but to stay here as everythings invested in this house. How do i sort this out i mean can the poilce scan the computer even if he deletes this indecent things as i type, Please help me ... I would go on but I would be ranting and Im affraid he'll come back and get abusive. As of yet he never has been, but i suspect he'll lash out soon.

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A male reader, NightLad Canada +, writes (1 April 2009):

NightLad agony auntWait... you said there are children living with you, and they use his computers?

Even if the kids are not the same gender as the ones in these videos, you need to understand that they are still in danger. Child abusers rarely limit themselves to one gender, because child abuse is really about sex; it is more often rooted in power and control.

How much of an investment in your home property is worth the children's safety? I’m sorry you are going through this hun, but it is police time, pronto.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009):

I worry for you. You should protect yourself and your children. This behavior (viewing explicit porn) is unusual, right? Have you been able to talk to him about it? If he is calm about it and denys it then you have time to make a plan --- get out, go fast, go now, go anywhere. As long as he doesn't feel threatened you will be ok. Just don't back him up against the wall. Just go.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009):

I am in agreement with the others! You need to take action now! The worse thing you can do is Nothing! This is a crime, and he needs to be stopped! And your children need to be protected. Don't worry about investments. Your largest investment is protecting you children, and yourself. You say you believe he will lash out at you. Trust your gut! Follow your intincts, and call the police! ASAP!

Be careful and Stay Safe!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009):

From my standpoint, your bf has internet porn problem and he's gone 'over the edge' into deviancy. Child porn is illegal..someone out there is hurting little kids, so guys like your bf can 'get off' on stuff like this.

Report this man asap..and the police will take over. They will confiscate his computers and do an exrensive investigation. After he gets hauled off, get your locks changed on your home and/or consider going to be with trusted frieds for a couple weeks until this whole thing...blows over. It won't be easy, you will never forget this horrible event.. but I commend you for taking a stand against these sick people. We need more people like you, to advocate for the poor children who get used and abused, in this way. bless you

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A female reader, jessica04 United States +, writes (25 March 2009):

jessica04 agony auntTake the computer now. Yes, they can still find everything unless he is some computer freak genius and magnetizes the boards or something to wipe out everything.

You know Geek Squad at best buy? They are trained to scan and report this kind of stuff. You can either take the computer there or to the police if you are afraid he will tamper with evidence.

Call the police asap and see what they tell you to do to make sure they can properly press charges.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009):

There was a story I read in early 2005 about a former girlfriend who found child pornography on her then-boyfriend's computer. The entire scenario was blown up and that man shunned and had repeated death threats. He went to prison for it. Later on, after some further investigation, it was found that the girls in the child pornography images and videos were all over 18 at the time of shooting. Although the man was cleared for the 'crimes', the public image of him was already tainted.

My question is: are the girls in the images and videos obviously young or do they look like teenagers?

If they are obviously young, then the more sensible thing to do is react on how you feel you should go about this. Eg: going to the police. If you're afraid of where you can stay, try to find a relative or a friend or even a temporary cheap residence like a motel to stay at.

If the girls in the pornography look like teenagers, the problem then lays with whether they actually are under age or of legal age, but looks young. If you report this and it was found that the girls are under age, then great, you did what your conscience has told you to do. If you report this and it was found that the girls are of legal age, then bad, how others see him will now be publicized.

There seems to be paranoia in your voice. What gave it away was first, the way you typed up your inquiry. There is panic and uncertainty. Second, you said you suspect he will lash out soon, though he has not had a history with this. So on what basis do you think he will 'suddenly' get abusive? I would say being instigated into reaction might.

There are two different 'problems' here. 1) The possible child pornography and 2) Your paranoia that he may get abusive.

Differentiate the two and react accordingly.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009):

yes - they can find stuff thats deleted. They can find the sites he has gone to. They can find everything.

dump him is my advice. have someone there when you ask for an explanation or say goodbye.

Star.x.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009):

Hi dear,

forget the investments on the house...nothing is worth your life. If you suspect he might get abusive,do something about it before it actually happens.

porn of children? and you have children in the same home with him?that's not safe at all. such minds as his can turn to any child, even his,to fulfil some wierd fantasies so PLEASE act fast!!! realise that he's wapped and no amount of shouting can make him repent, so dont bother.

and yes, the police can locate those files and recover them even when deleted. You are still young, take charge of your life now and dont leave it in fate's hands.

good luck

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A male reader, Mr Me United States +, writes (25 March 2009):

Mr Me agony auntCall the police now! Call them before he has a chance to delete them and, yes, data can be recovered on disks even if he does delete them. But it can be costly to prosecutors to do so. So, please go call the police now.

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