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anonymous
writes: Well about three and a half years ago I moved to my new home with my boyfriend where I met the local caretaker in which I took a liking to but didn't pursue with anything or do anything about it until about a year ago when we started seeing each other secretly.I would always meet up with him where ever we could, go wherever he was and so on we would even email each other every minute that we could but then everything started to go pear shaped.His missus found out that he's been up to something so I tried calling this so-called fling off, saying how even though I was in love with him and it hurt to be away from him we should quit while we where still fresh into this fling, but I couldn't as my heart didn't let me.He even told me on several occations that he didn't really love her and wanted to be with me but every time that came near something always stopped him.At some point everything just came crushing down on top of me and I have now completely stopped contacts with him and not a minute too soon because last night I recieved a phone call from her who asked me if in fact I have been contacting her boyfriend. I denied it but anyway, cut the long story I'm still recieving emails from him which I only read but never had replied back as he had warned me that his missus is now by the computer checking out all his incoming emails.I love him so much and he feels the same as he often tells me in these emails but what my question is: what do i do?Before you say confront his girlfriend, she sounds violent and I don't really want him or myself to get in to any kind of trouble so what do I do, as I can't eat or sleep as I keep on thinking about him. I can't stop walking past his house just in case that I can catch a quick glimpse at him and this is, and I know this from the bottom of my heart, that this is true love and I have finally found my soul mate. Please help as I'm running out of ideas.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, bonnie, writes (10 February 2005): please take a moment to read all the stuff that you just wrote. it might help you to sort out your own situation.you say you are in love with this man, and that your love is true - but true love should bring out the *best* in people! instead, you say that you and this guy have been hiding your love from your respective partners, and that when you were confronted you denied it to his wife. this does not sound like true love. true love will never make you into a liar.the fact is, if he really wanted to be with you, then he would not make any excuses when it comes to leaving his wife. "something" would not "always stop him" from being with you if that was what he really wanted to do. true love cannot be constrained or denied.you also have to ask yourself why the two of you are "stockpiling" your relationships with your respective partners. true love draws two people together, causing them to forsake all others.what i'm saying is that undeniably you both have feelings for each other, but i don't think that these feelings amount to the groundshaking love that you hope it is.do yourself a favor: dump your boyfriend, dump this other guy, and take some time out to figure out who you really are, and what you really deserve in life.lying, sneaking around, and keeping "backup relationships" because they are familiar (or comfortable) are unhealthy behaviours for you to participate in. accepting sloppy seconds from some man who is too much of a coward to devote himself to you (and ONLY you) is also beneath you.you deserve better.good luck.
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