A
female
age
41-50,
*izelle
writes:Dear agony auntsI have a huge problem.I was recently going through sum heavy things at home.my mom broke her leg in 2 places due 2 old age,so I have been taking care of her every need,then within a 2 weeks of that my sister had kidney faillure and she moved back home too meaning that I had to take care of her too.also bearing in my mind I have a 6 year old and I'm a single mom.I have been taking care of every1 and everyrhing 4 the past 5months.I recently graduated and have been struggling to find a job and that has added the stress.Having said all this I recently met a sweet guy who has a girlfriend.we became intimate although I honestly didn't want to but I did it anyway.this has been going on for 2 weeks and it was a great distraction from my troubles.today I met another good looking guy whom I could see myself with in the long term while at the shops buying things for the family.I found myself instantly connected to him not knowing he was the other guy's friend.we exchanged numbers and we have been talking the whole day.I decided to tell the other guy that I gave his friend my numbers and obviously he wasn't happy even though he has a girlfriend.he says he will fight for me if we have to but he is not willing to leave his girlfriend.I'm so confused and the sad thing is this new guy I met @ the shops is what I have been looking for.what hurts is I'm not the kind of girl to come between friends but I like him a lot and he likes me too.help me,do I tell the new guy or do I end it before it began?I have already broken it off with the 2 week fling. I hope my story is understandable
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female
reader, dizelle +, writes (26 November 2011):
dizelle is verified as being by the original poster of the question The original poster of the question
Thank you guys,I couldn't sleep the whole night.I have been trying the whole night to break it off with 'cheat' the whole night.he says he can't let go of me.I do regret being with him so much you wouldn't believe.I really do regret it because I know if I was his girlfriend I would feel so bad and my tough time is no excuse,but it was done.
I will take your advice and try it with the single guy,but should I let the single guy know about what I did with his friend? I don't want him to use it against me later and blackmail me.
A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (26 November 2011):
 Hi,I am sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. You are good person, and I am sure you know that it was wrong to get involved with the 1st man that had a girlfriend. Good thing is that you have already ended. It's very easy, since you ended with the 1st man, and he's not willing to break up with his current girlfriend, the decision is easy. Do not get involved with him anymore. I know you are under a lot of stress, so you needed companionship, but do not contact him anymore. He made it clear that he's not going to end with the girlfriend, so there's no need to continue....Now, the 2nd man you've met, since he's friends with the 1st man, I think that the best thing to do is to be honest with him. Tell him what happened during the past 2 weeks. You didn't know this new guy, so I am sure he's not going to be mad at you. You mentioned he's a good guy? So, the right thing to do is to start this new relationship the right way. Being honest!!! I am glad, after all the difficulties you are going through right now, that you've met this new guy... You are a good person, good mom, taking care of your family, and you deserve to be happy. I wish you a happy holidays. I hope this new guy, can become your new love, and hope you can develop a loving, caring relationship. Best wishes/ good luck
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A
female
reader, dizelle +, writes (26 November 2011):
dizelle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys,I couldn't sleep the whole night.I have been trying the whole night to break it off with 'cheat' the whole night.he says he can't let go of me.I do regret being with him so much you wouldn't believe.I really do regret it because I know if I was his girlfriend I would feel so bad and my tough time is no excuse,but it was done.I will take your advice and try it with the single guy,but should I let the single guy know about what I did with his friend? I don't want him to use it against me later and blackmail me.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 November 2011):
 The guy you have been seeing has a girlfriend, you are just his bit on the side, someone he can use and then toss away later. You should never have got with him while he was committed to someone else, am sure if you where the girlfriend you wouldn't have liked this. Think about her! He is a waste of space and a cheat. There really is nothing to think about here, there is a nice single guy here that seems to be interested in you. So cut it off with the guy who is taken. He has a girlfriend for crying out loud. Tell him to stop contacting you and then give it a shot with this single guy. You have nothing to lose, and so much to gain. You have had a tough time so you deserve a bit off happiness. Give this guy a chance, the guy you are seeing well he is in a relationship so it is highly unlikely he is going to tell this other guy to stay away from you because he knows he will be getting himself in to trouble so he will threatening you but that is as far as it will go. Good luck and all the best.
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