A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I and my boyfriend seeing eachother from last 3 years. i am 25 and he is 26. my parents wanted me to marry now as its my right age to get married. so i told them about my boyfriend, who is from culture. as i am north indian and he is a south indian, we differ in every way, our language, our culture....everything. intially, my parents tried to convince me change my mind and to get ready to marry some else( they are looking for a boy for me from last 2 years, and i said no for everyone). but when i was so adamant to marry him, my parents agreed for our marriage.( my boyfriend didn't wanted to marry so soon, althou he told about os to his parents, when my dad forced him to do so). but his dad told my dad that they will allow him to marry me only when his elder brother will get married, not before him. but my dad is pressurising me and him to get married soon, or they will make me marry to someone else forcefully. And my boyfriend does not want to marry me before his brother's marriage. I dont know...what i should do. My dad and my boyfriend, both are very rigid in their places......my dad wants me cooperate him and want me to go according to him( as they got agreed for our marriage for my sake, they want me to cooperate them now). and my boyfriend want me to take stand in his favour and wait for marriage till his brother gets married. plz suggest what i should do?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): married forcefully? are we still in the dark ages or something?
on the contrary, both your father and your boyfriend are weak-willed to bow to the pressures of society.
i know the pressure very well. i m an indian too...
the pressure to consider what others think over your own feelings...pathetic really...
have you ever considered when YOU want to get married?
A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (29 September 2010):
 You love them both so it's not easy to take a side. So before I give advise, I must ask: is your boyfriend's brother already seeing someone or not? Are they engaged? If not, then you can't wait. It could take him years! Talk to your boyfriend about this and his brother. I don't think his brother will mind so much if he marries first or not. And also stress to him that if he doesn't marry you soon, you WILL BE FORCED to marry another man by your family. If he stays stubborn, you both will lose heavily. Talk to your boyfriend's father, respectfully ask him to allow your boyfriend to marry now since you are 25 and would like to start a family while you are young and able and that you love his son, you don't want any other man but your family will force you into unhappiness by giving you to another man. Plead with him to do you this favor. But do not lose your temper or your calm, you will be respected and listened to more if you do not. Message me if you'd like and best of luck!
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