A
male
age
41-50,
*I
writes:i dated my ex for about one and a half years and we were really tight together. she broke up with me exactly 9 months ago, saying she doesnt love me enough. we have been friends since then and i'm still not over her. we got together for movies, etc as friends and even kissed and cuddled heavily once and she really enjoyed it, (she said she hadnt made out with any guy since we broke up) but still didnt want to make up. i've tried keeping out of touch with her for up to about 2 months, but still not over her, and i was more depressed and less focused on my work while keeping away from her. i dont feel anything for any other girl as much as i tried (even when i had made out with some of them), even when the girls are desperate to have me. my ex even advices i get another girl. my ex is far from good-looking so she just cant get another guy even after trying hard with different guys in the last 9 months (the guys only say they just wanna be ordinary friends with her and this frustrates her), and this makes it harder for me to get over her, knowing she is still single, and probably would be for a really really long time. she's getting even less attractive with age, but I'm still in love with her. i am forced to keep keeping in touch with her as friends because this is the only way i am less depressed. but i'm still not whole, knowing we're not back together. how do i get over her? my life feels like its in permanent runis!
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broke up, depressed, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mint  +, writes (25 September 2009):
 what i mean is tell her how yuu feel, if she hasnt got a new man by now she must be holding out from some reason, maybe she feels the same way as you.
A
male
reader, AI +, writes (22 September 2009):
AI is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Mint, saying she's not good looking, im only being honest. i still love her, i have no reason to wanna insult her. I had to make the not good looking point because this is the reason she's finding it hard to get another boyfriend, one of the reasons Im finding it hard to get over her. You said I should have a heart to heart with her. Heart to heart about what? Im not sure I get what you mean.
Thanks for your time.
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 You won't get over her while you are her friend. You need to take some time to yourself to allow the healing process to begin before you can engage in any kind of friendship.
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A
female
reader, mint +, writes (22 September 2009):
first of all how rude of you to sai shes far from good lookin......it aint all about the looks the persons peronality count too. secondli jus ahv a heart to heart with her, jus open up but dont kid around or she wont think tht you are tkin her seriousli
good luck
and keep me updated
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