A
female
age
41-50,
*ouise32
writes:Hi, I have been with my partner for nine years, i would like to get engaged but the problem is that he is still married but has been separated for 15 years, could we still get engaged without him getting divorced just yet?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): well i am a lady who as been separated almost 12 years and i am cohabitating with my current partner of 7 years every time i have tried to get divorced my husband wont sign the papers if you r happy with your partner then i recommened let sleeping dogs lie as u may open up a can of worms which could be really messy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): Please ask him to sort himself out first.There could be his wifestil in love with him n kids who r still hurting, whom u might not even know about. Its all abt him ,Isnt it?
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A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (9 February 2008):
If he has been separated for 15 years he can get a divorce (in the UK) without the consent of his former wife. It is a simple process, however you should be aware that under UK law any property he has acquired since separation and before a Decree Absolute is granted can still be challenged by his former wife. If he won the lottery tomorrow she is in a better legal position than you to make a claim.
If he wants to get engaged make the decision that you will only agree once he can show you his Final Decree.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (9 February 2008):
 Yes there are no legal reasons why you cannot get engaged to a man who is already married to someone else. It's only illegal if you get married. But why would you want to do that? Think about it. If he's been separated for 15 years, what is the hold up? Why hasn't he gotten divorced by now? I don't understand this in the least bit. And I think if you want to be engaged or married to him later, he needs to do the right thing and finalize the ending of his marriage so you can both move on without wondering what's legal and what's not. Please tell him to get on with it now, and then get engaged and married if you want. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 February 2008):
 Whether you are engaged or not , it does not change anything.He is still married and your engagement is ultra vires his marriage contract.
There is no legal standing of your engagement. It is just a false security for you, nothing more.
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A
male
reader, Asexy  +, writes (9 February 2008):
 Legally, yes. But I'm wondering why he hasn't divorced already? Or wanted to be with only you in the nine years you've been together. This might not be the case, but it sounds a lot like he's stringing you along.
Does he want to marry you? If so, don't get engaged until he gets a divorce. He needs to move forward for you, and getting engaged might be giving him his cake too.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (9 February 2008):
 I think you can but i dont think its a good idea to do so. You should probably wait until he gets the divorce papers signed and he is officialy divorced. My mother did what you are thinking about doing and from what i saw of that it was a terrible decision. Its your decision but i dont reccomend it.Good Luck
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A
female
reader, there89 +, writes (9 February 2008):
 My answer to you would be NO. Talk with him and put your expectations on the table as far as the divorce goes.I mean hey they've already been separated this long. What's the hold up?Besides,9 years and you're still basically the other WOMAN... WOW. I say pray about it and move on.
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