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anonymous
writes: hi,i'm a male of 21 and i've been dating a girl who i love to bits for a year and a quarter. she had an operation last week and i took the week off to look after her. on the last day she said she wanted to be friends.i was devastated and couldn't understand why. looking back on it now she had tried to spend more time just me and her for a while (we have the same friendship group and always went out together)and i just hadn't listened. when she tried to tell me i was ignoring her and she didn't feel special i turned it around on her and would make out that she was being pathetic.the thing is that i had a relationship of 2 years with another girl and she was a cow to me, constantly wanting to argue so now i think i automatically jump into "argument auto-pilot".i have spoken to her and we're going to make a go of it again. i have taken her out for a meal and i've told her how sorry i am but she says that although she still loves me there is a "barrier" which can't let her feel like she did.Its killing me when i walk her back to hers because she doesn't want to stay with me and i can't stand the way she looks at me now.what can i do to make it all better? Reply to this Question
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reader, becky05 +, writes (1 July 2005):
I take it that when you say you have spoken to her about it you have told her exactly how you feel and why you feel that way? If not do so now, at least you will know you tried even if she doesnt want to get back together. You will have to allow this girl to learn to trust you again and see that you have changed for the better before she will feel ready to make any commitment to you.On the other hand, maybe she does just want to remain friends? If this is the case you will just have to deal with it.
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