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36-40,
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writes: If a person remains single, does anyone think it can a negative impact on said person mentally? Are there positive consequences to be had? Perhaps a deeper sense of self, or greater self sufficiency? What do you think? I am not talking about jumping into a relationship for the sake of being in one, but rather a concienious choice to remain solo despite anything else. What do you think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): Also I just wanted to add...during my single years I prob broke a few hearts. Obviously I dated even though I knew on my end it wasn't going anywhere. At one time I was dating three guys in a row. In fact, I had a date pretty much for every night of the week. It's crazy! I know...I always kept things casual, never made false promises or promises I had no plans to keep and for the most part, most guys didn't mind, that is your nature...I was also living in the city so boy's do tend to be more open minded.
There were a few though that I think might have gotten emotionally involved and therefore hurt when really I was the wrong girl. I was in no place nor had any desire to be committed to anybody. Some guys thought I was playing hard to get, I wasn't! I just wasn't interested in belonging to anybody.
All I want to say is just be honest with the ladies. Fortunate for me, at that age, I wasn't sexually active, nor cared to be so, that is something I did want to save for a real relationship. But obviously I kissed boys and let them take me out. But I know boys are more sexual than the girls. Just try to keep things honest and open. Let the girls know where you stand so nobody feels taken advantage of and it is good practice for becoming a young gentleman of sorts. Anyway good luck.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 December 2010):
 Nope. Why?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually I'm not that good of a guy, lol. And if I wanted one there's a couple I could call tonight, but you learn to grow out of that. Are you a player Danielepew?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): I guess it depends on the person. I think being single, and doing it as a choice, works wonders on a person, especially at your age. It is a time where you are discovering alot about life and about yourself. Often, given that time of singlehood, makes you an even better match when you do eventually meet someone that fits your bill.
I only say this because alot of people feel it is necessary to be involved when really it is not. When I was about your age (22) I had just gotten out of a long relationship and had so many regrets about it. I had gotten involved with this kid when I was 18 (way too young to know what I wanted) and stayed in the relationship with the wrong person for way too long. He wasn't bad like a cheater or anything he just wasn't what I really wanted or needed. He was kind of needy and consumed alot of my time. He wasn't the most social person in the world and that kind of detracted from my own attempts to go out and make friends and be free. At 19 I moved to nyc and just wanted to be free and see what was out there. It was difficult to do with this guy. So when the relationship ended I was thrilled but kinda bitter and full of regret. I wished I had done it differently. I felt like I had missed out on such a important part of my youth (18-22) because I was involved with this person. After him, I too made a choice to be single. That is when my life turned around and I ended up having one of the funnest times in my life. I just focused on friends and school and having fun. And I had so much fun.
Eventually as time went on (I am quite a bit older now) I did get the itch to get a boyfriend (it is only natural and it happens, you can't avoid it). Right now I am happily involved. Much much different experience from the ex I was mentioning above, and it is only because I am older now and more aware of myself and what I want because I did take that time to figure it out. So it is easier for me to choose someone that fits me best rather than just settling into something because I just don't know any better.
So absolutely be single. In my opinion that is the best way to go about things. Follow your heart. Follow your gut always. Having the capacity to be on your own, a single entity, and being happy and sufficient living that way is the best way to build character and wisdom and be an all around kinda person. So go for it.
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (19 December 2010):
Meaning you're a good guy but kind of too good a guy. At 25, however, you shouldn't give up, if you want a woman, that is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGood answers all around. The tough part is the social aspect, people don't understand it, many female friends view me as a good catch so to speak, thusly they seem at odds with it. Oh well, can't make em all happy eh?
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (19 December 2010):
There is a recognizedly small group of people who don't want to marry, and this they do because they honestly feel married life is not for them. Now, this phrase is often used to mean "I don't want the commitment", but I beg you to take due note that this is not what I mean here. Some people prefer living single, and that's as valid a choice as any other.
I am sure you have heard married people complain about their significant other and how she or she is driving him or her crazy. The thing could be seen from a different perspective, you know?
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reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 December 2010):
Remaining single can genuinely be a good thing for some people. But it depends why you're remaining single.
For instance, if you've been hurt by a woman and you're remaining single because you think it's safer than getting involved with a woman again, the chances are it will do you damage later on in life.
However, if you're remaining single because you actually feel more fulfilment out of life than when you're with someone, then you should be fine.
So the question is why are you remaining single? Are you doing it because you're running from past hurt and emotion? If yes, then it won't work and at some point you'll spiral into depression or worse.
Or, are you remaining single because you're genuinely happy that way?
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male
reader, Odds  +, writes (19 December 2010):
 Involuntary single-ness/celibacy can make a person bitter and angry (not without justification) to the opposite sex.
Voluntary single-ness doesn't have any negative side effects that I'm aware of. You have more time and freedom, can live on less money, and don't have to change in any way you don't want to. If anything, I think that's much healthier than the crazy hoops some people (including myself) will jump through just to get into a relationship. Enjoy!
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female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (19 December 2010):
Well, according to psychological studies, single men and divorced men suffer from a lack of social support compared to men in relationships or married men. So psychologically, that would mean greater stress and less ability to cope. And there's the financial strain of bills, mortgage, etc.
Personally, I think that if someone really wants to be single and thinks that they are best off that way, that would probably be the best choice for them. Relationships do bring a lot of stress and fighting. But generally speaking, I think that people benefit from having somebody to rely on, to support them, to listen to them, etc. And the person that usually fills that role is a partner. Friends can be there, but people become busy with their own lives and families.
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female
reader, marcia99116 +, writes (19 December 2010):
 Depends on what country you live in. In the US their is a high emphasis on marrying mostly because of the economical benefits of a contractual commitment.
In reality though - if you decide to have children it is easier for them to live in an environment where two people are dedicated to each other and to them. They feel a since of peace at such a setting. It helps foster good emotional bonds and connections for them. If they live in a society that does not place a heavy emphasis on marriage then they can still feel these emotions but it depends on the environment.
If you live in some more liberal countries then their are usually no economical advantages to being married and serves to single parent and married families may be the same. Then you can still create an environment that is stable for a family.
Of course I am talking about marriage and not being single. If you have no desire to settle with one person... you don't have to. It is a choice most people desire. It does make you different but not a freak by any means. It probably means you like more alone time than most people and contemplate how much time you want to spend in the company of others.
Most people cannot live without others... without someone to share their innermost selves with. That is why we long to create intimate relationships with people on the promise that they will remain faithful and only be intimate with us in return.
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