A
male
age
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anonymous
writes:hi i've been dating my girlfriend for six weeks, we met on the internet, we both got on really well, and love each other, we were talking about honesty and trusting each other being a big thing in an relationship, she told me by text the next day that she was not being honest, she was very much still in love with her ex partner but also loved me we still text each other, and i have met to talk to her but two weeks on were no further ahead, she said she needs more time to think about her feelings for her ex and who she wants to be with, i love her very much but just need an answer from her what should i do, it's hurting me and her too, can you be in love with two people
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reader, Dazzerg +, writes (8 March 2008):
 Well since people are distinct individuals I would say that yes you can, it is possible to love many people at any given time; society in general however only permits you to be in a relationship with one at a time. What we have here is most likely a case of her not getting over her past with her ex and I have to say I think Paladin is a little harsh to her in that regard; she has stopped things before they have gotten to far and she deserves some respect for not leading you to far on (she may have said she loves you and even feel that she does, at least she has opened up now).
I think you need to give her that time and space. Seems like she is in the process of moving on (unless there is a serious possibility of her getting back with her ex). 6 weeks is a short space of time in the scheme of things and two weeks is to bemoan the lack of progress...I think it might be prudent for you to focus on being more of a friend for her and help her move on from the experiences with her ex and see if the relationship can flower that way rather than pressuring her to move forward. Good luck :)
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reader, Paladin  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 Of course someone can love two people but not in a romantic way. She obviously is confused or very selfish. She may even be playing you two against each other for some personal benefit such as money. What ever her reason is you have a problem and you would be best to stop pursuing her. She should have never let the situation get this far out of hand and now that it has there is no simple solution. I doubt she is an idiot or you wouldn't care for her as you do. With that in mind she had to know someone would get hurt over this. Think about it unless you both dump her she has nothing to lose. She is just using you both. One of you is her insurance policy. If it were me I would move on because if she did this once she will do it again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): Don't be so bloody naive mate - 6 weeks? - that's hardly a heartbeat in the grand scheme of things and certainly not time to fall 'in love'.
You must be a very needy person if you can 'fall in love' on the internet in 6 weeks! She's either leading you up the garden path, or she's not interested in you and is trying to let you down gently.
Can you be in love with two people? That's debatable. I'd say no, because you will always love one person more than another, but that's just my opinion.
Time to move on and meet a 'real' person I think.
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