A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im not with my babys dad and hes not on the birth certificate. I actually dont know if its my ex boyfriend of 3 years or the guy I lost my virginity to but we are getting DNA tests done. I swore it was my boyfriends of 3 years. But now hes starting to look like the guy who took my virginity...The guy who took my virginity is threatening to take me to court to get partcial custody when he gets out of jail. He has been in and out of jail his whole life and has been in alot of trouble. He drinks and sometimes does pills. Im very curious to how likely you think it is that he could get partial custody? He refuses to sign his rights over because he thinks he would still have to pay and he says if he has to pay he should get part custody but I refuse to let my son go anywhere with him or his girlfriend. She hates me. What if she were to treat my son like shit... I just cant do it. If he will sign his rights over I know I have to have someone else adopt, which then means he wont have to pay child support and he wont have any rights. But my problem is what if he still refuses to sign them over? I cant let my son go anywhere with him!!!I lost my virginity to him 5 years ago.We've always kept in contact and had a thing for each other. I was dating my ex bf for 2 years and we broke up and I started seeing the guy I lost my virginity to. We messed around and then I got back with my ex bf.Its a messed up situation and I feel like a slut for not knowing who my sons dad is but theres nothing I can do about it now. Im stressing SO bad that hes going to take me to court to get particial custody...He tells me he hates his gf and is only with her for his other son that he has with her and a place to live.After I had my son he told me that there was one time he didnt use a condom and he ejaculated inside of me. Then he tells her than I got pregnant with his kid on purpose because Im obsessed with him and I lied to him about stuff to make him get me pregnant.I dont know what to do AT ALL. He doesnt get out of jail until November but Im stressing so bad. I just need to know what to do.... Please if anyone has any advice or anything tell me! And dont bash please!
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broke up, condom, ejaculate, lost my virginity, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 March 2012):
 Unfortunately, YOU had sex with him and from that created life. I know you see the child as YOURS but... half of those genes came from him.
Only way to find out how to go about getting this man out of the child's life is to get a lawyer.
And yes, he can be made to pay even if he sign over the right, but you can waiver that pay. All up to your lawyer and the courts.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI honestly dont want him around my kid period. Id rather do this on my own. Im pretty sure if I have someone adopt my son his father will no longer be responsible for him.. Idk what Im going to do but I refuse to let him have any type of custody.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 March 2012):
If he sings over his parental rights he will have no "rights" to the child and you will have no "rights" to child support.
I suggest you contact a lawyer after the DNA test is done and you know 100% who is the father.
If you can not afford one, I suggest you find a pro bono one.
I seriously doubt he can get any kind of unsupervised visitations with your son.
Personally I would go for the "sign over his rights" and be done with this guy.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (26 March 2012):
 Well if the DNA test comes back and it is his child, then technically he has the rights to see the child because he is the father.
But, if it is proven that he does drugs, drinks and is in and out of jail, chances are he wont be allowed to be alone with the child. Over here in the UK we have a thing called 'supervised visitation' where (in your case) the father can visit the child but only under supervisation.
You need to speak to a lawyer really, we can only speculate on what might or might not happen, but at the end of the day if he is the dad he does have SOME rights. But how favourable the court is towards him will depend on his character and his record (which isnt great) and what your lawyer does.
Google child custody and family lawyers in your area and that should get you started. You might have to pay a bit for a lawyer, but it will be worth it in the long run. If he isnt out of prison until November start saving now, just in case.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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