A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I just started dating this guy, and I'm noticing some strange little consistencies that I think maybe I'm being over sensitive about. However I feel like I need to address them. First of all, when we started seeing each other, I asked him if he had an online messaging, and he said yes, he has Google but not MSN messenger because it's a company lap top and MSN is not accessible on there. Okay, no issue there even though he's never on Google, but when I visited him at his apartment he WAS messaging people with MSN messenger, but I didn't even make the connection right then, it suddenly came to me the next day. The issue is not which messenger he has, but rather the outright lie? Is lying about a little thing like that anything to worry about? Secondly, he told me was 28, but when I he added me to Face book it said that his birthday was 1979. Again, not a big deal, at all, still completely within my age range (I'm 23) but if he didn't enter his birth date wrong when signing up, I wonder about that as another little thing I should be thinking about, that he would lie about his age? Thirdly, he called in sick to work several times and lied to his boss so we could go out (which is fine, I don't care about lying to work, we all need a day off) but we went to see the movie The Invention of Lying and lightheartedly after the movie I said what do you think about lying and he said "only in matters of life and death" when I thought he would say "only to call in sick" or something. The reason I wondered was that I had been present when he called in sick, so he's lying about only lying in life or death situations? Finally, and I guess this rolls into a whole new topic, he says he just wants a girl with a good heart and a long term relationship, but he often says this AS he's acting like Mr. Octopus hands. And when he's not. How can I get to know what his intentions are, and what's going on in his head?I guess I'm being over-diligent, but can little lies lead to bigger lies? I'll admit I throw out a little white lie now and then myself, but only for work or to not insult someone's new haircut, and even then I try to be vague and not over do it. But when I want to build a relationship, I want honesty from the beginning, so it develops properly. Am I just overreacting? I don't want to interfere too much with his private life at this early stage, but just wondering?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 October 2009):
 It's called the snowball effect. So yes, little lies can grow and grow til it all tumbles down.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 October 2009):
Yes, small lies lead to big lies. He's phoned in and said he was sick. After that, he'll have had to make up an illness, then all the details and so on. to be lying a lot about small things at this stage is not a good thing. To be honest, he sounds a bit hypocritical, and he sounds like a complulsive liar.
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