A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, I am 25 years old and have a 6 year old son with my ex and a one month old with the man I am having trouble with. I lost my job at 3 months pregnant and I was extremely depressed and felt really lonely and distressed due to hormones and just feeling pretty worthless. He didn't care to try to help me or console me and if anything made it worse by calling me crazy or telling me to shut up because I told him he was selfish. I think I know how to take care of a man and do ok but I don’t understand how he just doesn’t care to try to take care of me in return ever, no one should feel lonely when they live with someone they 'love'. Anyway, the baby is here and things aren't any better except that he has learned to not pay any attention to our son either. Yesterday he told me that I was nuts and to shut up again and again because I had asked him to take the baby 3 times so that I could get ready for my 6 year old’s school event and instead he tended to himself as usual and started an argument so that he could... leave me with our son again. Convenient. So I am left to struggle with our baby while he takes a nap or watches sports or plays on the computer. When he does hold our son he seldom looks at him and doesn’t care about the comfort of the baby, he holds him like he’s a sack of potatoes and not an infant. (He just lays him across his lap or holds him waist level). So tonight I packed up and decided to leave and of course he could care less, it's pitch black outside and my nearest family is 2 hours away and you would think any parent wouldn't want their 1 month old infant on the road late at night, (I just went to the bank and turned around) or not want them gone at all. The baby cried a mile down the road and wouldn’t stop so I turned around to leave tomorrow. I get home and he's sitting on the couch with his feet up watching sports and on the computer, as usual the son of a bxtch. He doesn't care to talk about where his child will be or me (shocker) or care that we left or came back. Now I wonder if I should leave since everything in this house is mine. And why should I put the 3 of us at my mothers so he wins his solidarity. He was an irresponsible bachelor and left all his stuff in his old apartment. He has a good job and that seems to be all he cares about. How do I make him understand that he will be alone, and that he will retire and there will be no one there for him if he continues to be uncaring and selfish? I moved all my stuff into a house 2 hours away from home trusting he would try to make it work but he won’t. He just wants to be taken care of and have everything done for him like at his job. I have to go back to work to get my life back on track but is it fair? I have to work full time, surely harder than he will ever have to just like when we met and take care of our son by myself? Who gets someone pregnant on purpose just to leave their baby with one parent even though there are two in the house? I'm so disgusted that I was this dumb. So do I leave or not? I used to work so much I don’t have any friends and my mother goes to sleep at 7 every night. I'm so lonely here and I love my kids sooo much but I just wish I had someone to share our lives with. is so hard
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (6 June 2009):
 *hug* I'm so sorry that you are in this situation. It's so unfair to you.Unfortunately, he understands all right, he just doesn't care. He'll have to learn from life.File for child support, get your stuff, and move on with your life. Try hanging out at some parenting websites, or go to some volunteer events or book clubs to try to meet people. I think they also still have Parents Without Partners events.Take care of yourself and your child. Good luck to you.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (6 June 2009):
 This isn't the right person for you by the sound of things. You need to have an escape route. You have a job - that is good. Now get your own place to live. You need to dig your way out of this. Be brave, be strong, help will come on the way.
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