A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for the past 4 years. We met in high school and dated for 8 months. At the time, I was still immature and I didn't know what love really meant. He ended up ditching on my prom night. I was so hurt and furious. I broke up with him in an attempt to move on with my life. I ended up going insane and partying. I didn't care about anything anymore. I slept with two guys during that summer before college that I now regret so much. One of the guys used to be a close friend in high school, who my boyfriend hated. When September came around, I called him on his birthday. We ended up reuniting and the passion was still there. He is the one person that I felt that spark with... something I never shared with anyone else. After I told him about what I did during the summer he was angry and depressed. We got back together.. but for two years it was really difficult. He was so hurt and he had a lot of anger towards me. In time, things have changed drastically. This past May, he called me and confessed to cheating on me with two escorts while he was away in college. I was in total shock. I never expected for him to cheat on me. I knew he harbored deep pain inside due to my past, but I thought he truly loved me enough to never do such a thing. He left his classes and drove 3 hours to come see me. He cried to me, telling me how disgusted he was with himself and that I didn't deserve him. It's been close to a year since he cheated and I chose to stay with him. I know people may think I'm totally desperate or that I don't respect myself. I truly believe that we love eachother no matter what. As unhealthy as our relationship seems and all the pain that we caused on eachother, I feel that he's still the one for me. Now, he's different. He treats me very well. However, I still doubt our relationship and wonder if he really deserves another chance? He always considered what I did to him as infidelity, but I never saw it as that. I never cheated on him. I made mistakes when we weren't together. But he went behind my back and cheated. He still thinks that what I did is far worse... and that really troubles me. I really love him and I can't imagine life without him. I don't think that I can be as comfortable with others as I am with him. I do feel that our past has made us much stronger and closer... I still wonder if I made the right decision to forgive him. Please give any advice... thank you so much.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 January 2010):
You have done what you believe was right for you and you love him no matter what.
Personally, if I had been dumped on prom night by someone, they'd never have gotten another chance. And I have to say the way he treated you after you broke up was poor. And I also have to say that cheating with escorts really was low. And to say that what you did was worse that what he did was a total lie, and in many ways shows that he hasn't changed.
What I've done there is show you two different angles of how you're looking at this relationship. You are looking at this with rose tinted glasses. That facts say that this guy isn't worth the time. He won't even come to terms with the fact that you didn't cheat, and claims what you did was worse than him ACTUALLY cheating with prostitutes. I'm sorry, but I don't think it's meant to be. He has not truly accepted responsibility for his actions, and instead chooses to blame you. Whether you stay with this guy is up to you. But from what I've read, and seeing how he really treats you, I'd say you can do better.
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