A
female
age
36-40,
*uzzanne
writes:he cares too much for me which is becoming a bit alarming.he travels a lot due to the nature of his work but even if hes back home at 3 at night,he has to make surei had mmy dinner and that i am healthy.when i had my miscarriage he took off for 1 month just to look after me.he made mmy favourite dishes for me,took me to Denver to distract me and even gavemassages on alternative days.he totally neglected himself in that period.he also insists on video calls.his younger sister however told me that my husband ie her brother has the addiction problemsand if he gets extremely attached to something he never leaves it and gets addicted.she said seeing his behavior towards me she is suspecting him to be addicted to me!i never felt this with him(he does get a lot physical with me like 5-6 days a week when hes isnt travelling)i am not complainingcoz i love that he loves me so much and i love him too.but wanted to clarify.by the way i am 24 and hes 35.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2011): This is so funny. when men don't care for their wives they get lots of complaints. they get the same even when they love them and care at their best. some ring warning bells too. I am so sad about you as you cannot feel his love. instead you question him. I wonder if you deserve such a loving man!!!!by the way, your sister-in -law is jealous about you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2011): Do you want this type of a husband?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-worried-my-husband-is-embarrassed-of-me.html
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2011): Is this Both your first marriages? How was he with ex wife/gfs?
Yes he does have compulsive smothering behaviour. My friends hb is like this. He watches her every move, motnitors her. He recently made her promise not to have a bf/remarry when he does die.
At first I thought he was sooooo romantic that he was jealous and smothering however now that I know more I cringe every time I hear about his "Addiction"
I think his sister is right: soon he will own you. So the question is this: when do u get a life of your own. I also think he doesn't trust u. Have u done anything untrustworthy? Like cheating? Or any emotional attachments that u shouldn't have had? 11 years is a big age gap when there's immaturity involved. Perhaps your hb has something to hide? Do u trust him completely. As he done anything to betray your trust?
LoveGirl
Warning bells
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011): to be honest, his over-focus on you doesn't sound healthy. because you said it got to the point that he was neglecting himself.I worry if he's putting you on a pedestal and sooner or later he will get disappointed because he's got an over-idealized picture of you or of the marriage in his head that reality can't live up to for long. I also worry if his over-focus on you may in future turn into controllingness. Or over-dependency on you meaning you can't have a life outside of him because his entire world revolves around you. (that's actually unhealthy and sooner or later will feel that way too).sorry I don't mean to be a wet blanket. Right now there's nothing bad going on. Just that if something is too good to be true, it usually is. Enjoy his positive attention now, but do be on the watch if it changes tone in the future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2011): It is possible to be addicted to the person you love. After all, love itself is a natural chemical response in the brain releasing endorphins that make you happy. Technically, anyone who is in love is actually just addicted.
He does sound very attached. Does he do anything scary or abusive? Like do you have to "check in" ever so many minutes by text or phone call? Does he get jealous if you have other friends? Does he want you to stay home all the time so he can check up on you?
If he's not being controlling or manipulative, I just think he's kind of clingy and protective, which may be annoying sometimes but not bad. It does sound like he really loves you, though. And he takes really good care of you, that's not common in men. Usually it is the other way where he expects you to take care of him and if you're sick or stressed or depressed, oh well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2011): WoW...Wish I get a husband like yours!You are so lucky.
Most women complain that their partner changed after marriage.In your case,its just the other way around.Does he get upset if you can't spend time with him due to work,studies,etc?If no....you are one of the rarest women who have a wonderful husband...:)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 October 2011):
 Does he wake you up at 3 AM to know what you had fordinner ? ... No, I definitely would not be happy with that, LOL.
For the rest, he sounds just very ..protective . Nothing wrong with that , in fact it's nice, as long as he does not get REALLY obsessive and as long as he respects your freedom. Maybe it's also the age difference that leads him to be for you not only your lover and companion, but also a bit of a father, but that's not a necessarily a bad thing . All in all, you don't complain, he does not complain, everything is fine - the only one who complains is his sister, maybe she is jealous !
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (17 October 2011):
 It does sound like he is a bit obsessive towards you, and perhaps his addictive personality could be to blame - however it all sounds harmless, in fact he is very loving and caring, many women would love to have a husband that acts this way!
I wouldnt say he is addicted to you, just loves you very much and wants to be heavily involved in your life. He is displaying addictive tendancies but I personally dont believe that one human can get addicted to another human - generally with addictions there is some chemical that causes the addiction. Perhaps he is addicted to love (love causes chemicals and hormones to be released in the brain) but that would mean he would be the same with any other woman he is in love with, not just you.
Dont worry about something like this - it sounds like you have a great relationship so who cares why he is like this, just be happy you have a wonderful man.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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