A
female
 ,
*west
writes:Can anybody tell me why men are such commitment phobes and why they like to lead women on? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, tommy2k7  +, writes (15 June 2007):
 Talking about leading people on, (this may sound like a strange question), can a girl make up the fact that she's got another boyfriend just to make someone feel jealous?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): Commitment may have a different meaning for different people. For a woman, commitment may mean that she is able to control her man in all the activities he does in his life for the fear that he may stray. For a man, it would mean that the woman takes care of his family without giving in to her own temptations / desires that may create harm to their relationship. Moreover, some people may have their own criterias for commitment, like being able to micromanage everything that their partner does or intrude in to her private space so as to exploit / abuse it later on... To be honest, manipulation, when used as a tool to force commitment on to any person can have long term ill-effects... There can no trust about what actually the other partner is up to in his/her life and the only means to prevent them from doing it is through applying pressurizing/bullying/intimidating them. And this is what truely sucks most people making them afraid of commitment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): Not all men are afraid of commitment. It's just a stereotype like all women needing a man in their life to be complete. In my experience some men and women enjoy leading others around. There is no sexual barrier to being manipulative.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 June 2007):
 Don't make the mistake of thinking that only men are afraid of commitment. Many women are, too.
Now, the most sensitive opinion I've heard on this matter comes from a columnist whose name escapes me now. The question is, are people afraid of commitment, or are they afraid of committing to specific circumstances?
If you asked a woman to "commit" to a drunk and violent man, would it be wrong if she didn't want to commit to him?
Some people like to lead other people on. You might mistake this for "fear of commitment".
Now, if someone didn't want to commit to you and led you on, 1) he may be a bastard, or 2) maybe he didn't like what you had in mind.
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A
female
reader, Gem86 +, writes (15 June 2007):
 Its not just men, its women too. Im scared to death of commitment! People get scared, thats life. Im sorry I cant be much more help! Take care xxx
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