A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok this is a very big problem. I've been having. I moved in with my boyfriend 7 months ago. We've known each other for over a year now. We've not kissed yet, we're in seperate bedrooms and frankly I'm getting tired of it. He tells me he's scared but I've seen some disturbing things like he's been looking at gay men on the computer and he actually has a bunch of gay porn that he doesn't know I know about. I found an old gay personal he had from 2002 it said he was bisexual...but I've also come across a few others that says he's looking for relationships with men. He hasn't logged onto these sites since I've moved in but I can't help but wonder if I'm just his "cover" so his family and friends don't think differently about him.So, really I have two questions...I know he loves me so is it possible for a relationship to work out like this if I have the patience to wait a little longer? The second question is can a gay/bisexual man have a committed relationship with a woman while still looking at gay porn?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): Your problem isn't that he's watching gay porn. I have a bisexual boyfriend who I know does the same and yet we have a fantastic sex life and I know he loves me and I him.
Your problem is you have been together for so long and not kissed yet. What is a relationship to you? How can you have moved in together and not shared at least one, passionate, heart-stopping "he's the one" kiss??
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): Sounds to me like he is GAY but in a certain level of denial in thinking he is bisexual. There are true bisexuals out there but a lot of men who call themselves bisexual are actually plain gay but just don't want to admit it (not even to themselves).
I think you've waited quite a while already. I don't know but my guess is that if you wait a bit longer that nothign will change.
I don't think a gay man can have a proper committed relationship with a woman. If he is gay then there will never be any sexual attraction for him and that isn't the sort of relationship either of you should be in.
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A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (5 December 2007):
 Baby...You are being sooo naive. Please. If he wasbisexual he would had sex with you on the first night after you moved in. We men do like this.
Come on. he ha sno interest in women at all. And appearently he is unable to have that. How come you have been duped all this time and waited and waited.
Even if he is bisexual how come you would expect to have a relationship with him. I mean if he is bisexual at one point he would like to have sex with men. Would you feel comfortable with that fact?
And if he loves you he loves you as a friend and I am sure he does. No doubt. Fine but as a friend only.
Yes he probably is taking a cover behind you.
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A
female
reader, hello1  +, writes (5 December 2007):
 Peronally I don't believe men can be bisexual, so him saying that is a warning flag. The gay sites you found and him not wanting to have sex with you, its pretty obvious isn't it! your his beard! his cover girl. Get outta there
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (5 December 2007):
 You call him your boyfriend but you've never been physical? Not so much as a kiss? You've never made love, done the nasty, consumated this relationship?
Something is seriously wrong here. From what you say, he is probably gay. But you need to look at what you class a relationship. You're nothing more than friends at the moment, I'm afraid.
Move out, right away and find yourself a lover.
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