A
female
age
36-40,
*atieBird
writes:My best friend Bridget is getting married this fall, and I am her Matron of Honor. We have been best friends for over ten years, she was my Maid of Honor, and in short- we are like sisters. Not to make this all too confusing, but it is important that you know that my husband is friends with Bridget's fiance. (Which is really quite nice for us girls!) The four of us went to grammar school together, and the guys went to college together as well. Our two men have two other friends (who also went to grammar school with us, so we have all known each other for a long time). One of the other guys has a wife who is really very sweet, and the other one has a fiancee (let's call her Nat) who is really quite rude. (To make matters worse, and possibly more confusing for you- Nat's fiance is my husband's best friend, and was even his best man in our wedding last year.) The eight of us have become somewhat of a "group" and often meet for dinner, drinks, etc. Now that you have an understanding of the friendship of the group, here is the problem: Bridget is having a bridal shower in a couple of weeks, and her invitations went out long ago. The two girls mentioned above are invited to Bridget's shower. Nat decided that her engagement party will be held the same day as Bridget's shower! And this is of course after Bridget's party had already been planned and invites already were sent. The worst part is that Nat asked Bridget what time her shower would be over (about 4pm), she scheduled her own engagement party for 3pm! This is outrageously rude in my opinion because it is clear that Nat has no regard for Bridget's feelings, but it seems she is attempting to steal Bridget's spotlight on that day. Nat doesn't even have a date set for her wedding, but I do know it will not be until the fall of 2010- therefore, there is plenty of time to have the engagement party another day. I don't think that Nat realized the ramifications of her decision to have her engagement party the same day as Bridget's bridal shower. Bridget wants nothing to do with her, I want nothing to do with her, and even the sweet girl wants nothing to do with her. If the women do not want her around, this puts serious strain on our husbands' relationship with their friend- Nat's fiance. Nat's fiance is also in the bridal party for Bridget's wedding! I don't know what to do! Or what to tell my best friend to do...how to handle this situation. Nat is terribly rude, and obviously has no class. She is the type who always needs to be the center of attention, and can certainly dish out hurtful comments, but cannot ever accept criticism directed towards her. If you only knew the half of what she has done. We have just about had it, and I think this incident is the breaking point. I need suggestions on what to do about this situation. Should we never include her in anything again? Should Bridget's fiance attempt to speak with Nat's fiance? Any comments would be helpful! Thank you!
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female
reader, KatieBird +, writes (24 July 2009):
KatieBird is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnonymous,
Bridget and I were thinking of completely skipping Nat's party all together. I don't think it is right for her party to be the same day, and I wonder it maybe that'll send a message to her that she was wrong. Nat has done hurtful things to me in the past as well, and I feel like enough is enough. I think she'll only continue to behave this way if we let her...we need to let her know that her behavior is not okay, and we're not putting up with it anymore.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2009): Try to get Nats fiance to reason with her and if all else fails, go to the bridal shower then the party when its over, after all you had that planned first.
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