A
male
age
51-59,
*uy619
writes:I would be interested in your thoughts. Today my gf sent a text to me while I was at work at about 11.50am. She said that due to me working long hours and being so tired when I get home that she feels she never sees me. Then she asked if we could meet for lunch if I was able to get a lunch hour. I was unable to meet her due to only picking up the text at 12.45 when I started my break. She was about 45 minutes drive away in any case so it was unlikely that it would be possible. In my break I sent a message back saying yes I agreed that it seemed we don't have much time together. My gf does not work and one reason I work long hours is that I pay the bills.At the end of my working day I thought I would call her and let her know I had finsished half hour early thinking that we could meet ealier. She answered the phone and told me she was visiting a guy she knows at his place and that she would be going out in the eveing to a creative writing group that she used to go to. She hasn't attended the group for over 6 months so I was a little surprised but said ok have a good time and see you later. Then I asked her if she would like me to cook something for when she returns and she wouldn't answer me and just kept saying "I don't know". I said it was only so that I could decide to eat something myself of cook for two but she wouldn't answer. I sent her a text when I arrived home from work as I often do if she is not back and asked again if she would like me to prepare something but aain no answer. I'm not unduly worried or anxious but the slight question in my head is this. If she sent me a text saying she fels we don't see enough of each other then why would she decide to do this, particularly tonight. And also when wouldn't she send a text to me saying she had to decided to do these things. I am independent and so is she but the one thing I do feel is iomportant between couples is communication and I guess I feel there is a breakdown here. I would be interested in your thoughts or advice.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): This is starting to stink. You are rational, analytical, trying to find a good solution. She sounds like she is starting to fill her emotional needs elsewhere. Money you bring in is great, but you need to be around more. She will come around.
A
female
reader, vanity  +, writes (5 November 2009):
It seems to me the break down has been going on for a while. She finally grew some (place the appropriate word there) and you are just hearing about this for the first time. Unfortunately, she has probably discussed this with her friends and she has made a decision to tell you how she feels and to take action. I don't mean cheat by taking action. I mean go out and show you that other people will find interest in her (male or female and I don't mean in a sexual matter either).Obviously, you are taking initiative but it is a little late. Sometimes we expect men to be mind readers and you are not. We believe you should see the situation already as we do and you don’t. I think you need to let her be herself tonight. Talk to her tomorrow and have a heart to heart. She probably doesn't even realize the email came through late.Good Luck
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