A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay so me and my bf have been together for 3 years.when we first got together i was 160 lbs. im 5 9 so for my hight thats a little bigger but not fat. now i am 190. i try so hard to be cute for him but i dont feel like its working he doesnt hold my hand anymore and idk things just feel different. i am wondering if its because we have been together for so long that those little things just dont happen or if its something bigger....our sex life is fine...when we have sex which is not very often he doesnt seem grossed out or anything he seems to enjoy it and comes somewhat fast......but he doesnt want to have sex and i cry about it and he gets mad idk what to do please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2010): You know, as much as you girls don't want to come to grips with this, and I am sure people here will be angry to read it, visual attraction is very important to guys. He probably loves you very much, but may be losing attraction for you. The worst part of this is that he may grow to resent you for putting him in this position. I would suggest making an effort to get in shape for him.Men are visual creatures, especially when it comes to sex. Women's attraction seems to be based much more on to be much more on what a man says, or how he acts,Many of you will say this is shallow. But it is generally the truth. Love and sexual attraction can be separate emotions. He may need that visual to keep him sexually interested. I know I do. And yes, I have grown somewhat resentful of my partner. I love her very much, but she has let herself go, and put me in a position of not being sexually attracted to the one I love. This is a horrible place to be. Yes, we have chatted about this, but she does not/cannot seem to change. I am a monogamous person, but My feelings of resentment are growing, as she has basically shut down a big part of my life (sex) because she does not care to keep herself attractive for me. I don't think you want to go down the same road. It sucks
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 August 2010):
I think he may well feel you're too clingy. I'd be a little worried and scared if my girlfriend started to cry if I didn't have sex with her. That's why he's not holding your hand and feels think a little different. I think you need to talk to him and tell him that things feel different and that you'd like to work on your relationship. This is something that can be worked through if you both sit down and talk about this. But I think the issue is that he feels you're becoming to clingy and dependent on him, and that is something that could send him away. You both need to talk to each other about it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2010): The best thing for you to do is to talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel and ask if his change in behavior has anything to do with your weight gain. You guys have been going out for some time, so he should be okay with a frank conversation.
When in doubt, talk it out!
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A
female
reader, loopylynch +, writes (27 August 2010):
 Hi...
Im not a boy, but im sure us girls can help just as good, if not better then a fella :) What happened to a good old fashioned ''Chat'' can u not speak to him about ur concerns?
It could hes losing interest
He could be just taking things between u for granted as its been 3 years and hes just comfortable, the effot to make this spontanious has gone, its now rutine!! break that cycle........
Maybe add a bit of spice to things? do more foreplay, leave little notes, leave him txts when hes out telling him u cant wait for him to get home bcoz u have a night planned, invite new ideas into the relationship so its more then just the ''norm''..... maybe try these things then if nothing changes, have that talk!! xx
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