A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Himy bf often ignores and manipulates me in such a way that i need to apologize even for his mistakes. When ever i try to talk to him about this, he says i am boring him and try to change the subject. He is emotionally distant too.Does all guys behave the same way? How can i make him understand that i like him to change his ways. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): .
~CO-DEPENDENT DYSFUNCTION~
All guys are not like your boyfriend with respect to such behavior. Additionally, the behavior is not male-restricted, as females also engage.
That your boyfriend is indifferent or oblivious to the appropriateness extending sincere due apology, suggests he suffers from self-absorbance, a mental mutation manifesting self-destruction, as it is nothing more an antibiotic to healthy, positive, social engagement.
I can't help but to sympathetically pity him for such ignorant, voluntary inclination.
Equally, my sympathy lies with you, as you are enabling your boyfriend's mental mutation, hence its festering adverse affliction upon You, discontent.
How is it that your boyfriend's mental mutation will correct itself or if you're injecting yourself with his antidote? He is the one in dire straights for accountability-compassion-infusion.
Sweetie, take control of this mutually conceived disease. Toss away your enabling syringe, as it immobilizes your boyfriend potential to extend you due apology when he depends on you to you do it for him, as exhibited by your repetitious behavior.
Additionally, terminate your relationship with him, as the both of you need the space and time to soul search and reflect on what it is and what it isn't you each are capable and willing to attentively, actively and constructively bring back to the examination table, that being of course a clean bill of relationship health.
~IN SYNC~
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): Why are you staying in a relationship where you know someone is manipulating you and playing games? Lots of people aren't going to treat you well...but staying with them really means you are the one who has to change her ways. I suppose its less painful looking at him as the problem instead of looking within and facing what caused such low self esteem you put up with this. IT's hard work fixing yourself but impossible to fix another.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (16 January 2011):
 Do all guys behave this way: in short no.
The question I think you need to ask yourself is why would you want to be with a guy who makes you feel the way that he makes you feel? Seriously, when you have a boyfriend, who loves you, it should bring you "up", not down.
How can you change his behavior? Tell him straight out not to talk to you like that. You stand firm on your ground he'll realize you aren't a push-over anymore. Either he'll fix his ways or you guys will move on.
Either way, I hope you take stock on what attracts you to this guy. It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me.
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A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (16 January 2011):
 No all guys do not behave in this way, certainly not the majority anyway. He is taking you for granted and being rude to you as well which is not acceptable. I think you need to take a stand, give him something to think about, such as losing you if he does not change his ways. Maybe if he see you mean business he might change and start respecting you more. If he is still carrying on behaving like an idiot then maybe you should leave him and find someone who gives you the love and respect that you deserve.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (16 January 2011):
 hi
he sounds like a spoiled brat. he should have grown up by this age. you cannot change him. he should want to change to make himself a better person and if he has chosen not to, there is nothing you can do about it. he doesn't want to discuss it with you because he knows you are right, but isn't mature enough to admit that to you and apologise.
he needs to do some looking at his own behaviour, and maybe you should give him space to do that
xx
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A
female
reader, comeonjesusthishurtstoomuch +, writes (16 January 2011):
 Run while you can this type of behavior will emotionally drain you. Let me guess you love him so much that you say sorry just so he will talk to you again? I recently had the same experience it hurts bad. When it's finally over you feel lower than dirt. Step back and ask yourself how much could you mean to this man if your sadness bores him. I wish we could all follow what we know is right, but all the advice in the world wont change us unless we want to change. Leave him if he really does love you he'll change if not who needs him anyway.
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