| A ,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend Adam for 5 years, he is 24 I am 22, our relationship has never been smooth running but in the last year it has been the best its ever been, to give you abit of history, last Xmas Adam didn't get me a single gift not even a card this was the same for my 21st birthday, when I asked him why he said he couldn't be bothered. His friends always come 1st and he said that is the way it will always be, he doesn't say these things nastily it just how he feels. He recently told me he doesn't even want kids or to get married he doesn't even want to move in with me, he also said he can't see us being together when we're 28. He sees our relationship as fun and nothing serious. He says he loves me and doesn't want us to end yet. My Dad wants me to find someone who deserves me for all that I possess not just the outer package. Adam isn't very romantic where as I crave walks in the park, for him to wash my hair, go out drinking with me and text me goodnight if he's not with me, I don't get any of this from him we usually stay in and watch a movie or go out for dinner at our local restaurant. I love him very much and do enjoy spending time with him for the cuddles and his sense of humour etc but in 5 years he has not once made love to me it has always been sex and when I made an effort to set the mood he complained that it wasn't very good for him. I have met a guy who absolutely adores me and treats me like a queen - nothing has happened between us as I would never cheat but he wants all the things I want and I find myself thinking about him alot, the thought of not being with Adam hurts so much but I just don't know if we're going anywhere - I have forgiven him for all the things he has done in the past, calling me names, lying to me about silly things, standing me up when we make plans and generally just being abit mean as the last year he has been so much more attentive to me. I just don't know what to do for the best?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (16 January 2005):
 Hi there,Your letter doesn't make Adam out to be much of a catch.Let's summarise: he doesn't keep promises, he calls you names, he lies, he doesn't expect to be with you in a few years, he has no intention of getting married, he doesn't want kids, he doesn't bother with trying to please you, he cares more about his friends than he cares about you, he won't put the effort into buying a birthday card, the sex is lacklustre, and he laughs off your efforts to try to zing up your relationship.So.Why do you want to be with a person like that? What's to love about Adam? He's had five years to show you what real love is and he's completely failed. He sounds mean, selfish and childish and, yet, you say you love him? I'd ask you, why? Has he ever done anything even remotely worthy of your affection, much less your love? Normally, I would suggest that anyone in a relationship do their best to salvage what they have before deciding to leave, but there's nothing here, hon! You've got nothing to work with.Wave goodbye and get this man out of your life.
|
