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male
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anonymous
writes: I am engaged to be married soon. My fiancee and I are very close and have been together for a long time. We're both virgins. I want our first sexual experience to be comfortable, enjoyable, and pleasurable for her. What can I do to make things the best they possibly can be? Thanks for your help!
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female
reader, PrunellaGringepith +, writes (21 March 2006):
 Congratulations on qualifying as a considerate and caring lover!This is half the battle won already!However, try not to get your expectations up too high, or get too caught up in all this planning, it will only make you more nervous and worried about doing something wrong.First of all...Relax! This is the most important part. Nobody's first sexual experience is ever perfect and the two of you have years of life to together to explore.Secondly, go slow, talk to each other, ask her questions, 'Does this feel nice?' It is not a race, and you don't have to pretend that you know what you are doing when you are both experiencing something new.Finally, Enjoy! Have fun! Laugh! Sex is a wonderful and beautiful act that confirms your love for each other. Laugh together, play, tickle each other, give her a massage, anything that lightens the tone and will stop both of you feeling too serious or self-concious.
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (21 March 2006):
 I think it is such a lovely and rare thing that both you and your fiancee have waited for the right time to have sex with one another. There are no expectations as neither one of you have experience of anyone else.
Like the other reader has suggested the joy of sex, also make sure you have some sort of lubricating jelly as a first time experience can sometimes make muscles and areas dry so relax with good slow music and setting the mood is defintely the right idea. Maybe one glass of wine but don't over do it or food as you will just feel either too drunk or too full from food.
Don't rush it either, look at web sites that talk about sexual turn on points on the body like kissing the neck etc and nature will guide both you and your partner to the next stages.
I wish you and your fiancee all the very best.
Good luck for the future.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (21 March 2006):
 What a nice bloke you are, well you need to do some research into what turns women on, you can find this in some sex education books like "the joy of sex" the more you know the better, you can set the mood ensuring no interuptions and comfy atmosphere as well as making sure you have the right precautions like condoms.
Take your time ensuring she is relaxed and be loving and gentle, just enjoy what will comes naturally and dont try and rush things.
Good luck and enjoy each other.
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