| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over a year and we really trust each other. I do drama and as part of a role I have some pretty intimate scenes with another guy. My bf is really happy for me that I got the role but says he is really uncomfortable with some of the stuff that I have to do with this guy. He says that he trusts me that I won't be disloyal to him. But I can't help but feel really bad if I'm putting him through this. I understand why he feels like this and even though he is happy for me should I not do it because He seems really uncomfortable about these scenes? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hdh2170  +, writes (9 April 2011):
Its not his choice, its a personal choice. Clearly he wants you to choose what is right for you. He seems to be doing the right thing by not asking you to quit because of them. Now its your turn to show the same faith in him, and do what you need to do without being disloyal. if you feel uncomfortable with it, don't do it, but don't use him as an excuse. If you are ready to do it, then go ahead. break a leg!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): Well when he puts a ring on your finger and marries you, then he can make career defining decisions for you. Until then, you can't pick and choose roles to accommodate his feelings. I know actors are grateful to get any role so if he wants to cripple your potential to cater to his insecurites, he can be the financial back up, as a husband, when your roles disappear. Do you think if he were a musician and got an opportunity to tour with a band he'd pass that up because you, his girlfriend of just over a year, was uncomfortable with him being gone so long and around all the groupies? Hell no. Let me say that again, Hayell NO! Guys are much smarter when protecting their best interests and girls give the baby away with the bathwater. Be the overly sacrificing, catering girlfriend all you'd like but know when you start giving up things, he'll stop respecting you and he'll high tail it outta there. Most relationships don't work out anyhow so never ever never ever sacrifice anything over a boy you are dating.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 April 2011):
 This is a big choice for you. You are now facing a moment of truth. Where do you see your future? Do you see your career in acting? Is this where your dreams lie? Then you have to act. You have to do the intimate scenes sometime.
I understand how your boyfriend feels. It takes a lot of security and self-confidence to not feel threatened if your actor girlfriend kisses or simulates sex with someone for a movie. But you can't debunk your dreams for him.
With his putting pressure on you, he's forcing you to choose. I would suggest not choosing to coddle his feelings. If he loves you, he has to accept your craft and your dreams. He has to be mature enough to know that acting isn't real life, and that when you kiss him, it's not acting.
As for you, you have to go foreward and do the scenes, or forfeit your dreams of acting. Is this boyfriend worth dropping your dreams for? I'll tell you what happens if you do drop the dreams. You will resent your boyfriend...then break up with him, and still, the damage to your dreams is most likely permanent.
...............................
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (9 April 2011):
Under no circumstances you should stop playing drama. But, your boyfriend can't be there watching, it is insane. If he trusts you for real he will understand this. He knows it's acting and you aren't cheating on him. But the idea after role playing is the beholder to think what he's watching is true. So you boyfriend should be the beholder. Unless there is no intimate scenes in the play.
...............................
|
