A
female
age
30-35,
*igdreamer4
writes:Hey everyone.I really hope I don't sound immature here but what I'm dealing with is I feel like I'm in competition with one of my boyfriends female friends.She is always trying to get my boyfriends attention and is always trying to talk to him. I even think she intentionally tries to keep my boyfriend away from me. She text messaged him one day to hang out and he told her he was hanging out with me and she told him to leave me and go hang out with her instead. There have been other situations like this one.What's bothering me the most is one day me, my boyfriend and her and some other people were all hanging out one day and she actually started flirting with my boyfriend right in front of me and then looked right at me and smiled. She could tell that it definitely bothered me and has been flirting with him ever since. Me and her no longer get along (we were never really friends to begin with) so that's another reason why I feel like I have to compete with her.I don't see this as an actual friendship with my boyfriend and her. She doesn't even respect me as my boyfriend's girlfriend so I don't think she even respects the friendship she has with my boyfriend. She has only known my boyfriend for a couple of months so I don't know why she acts like they have such a close friendship.I feel like I'm in some kind of competition with this "friend" of his. Whether she actually likes my boyfriend (which I don't think she does) or is maybe trying to upset me on purpose I really don't know why she is doing this, but it's definitely getting to me.How do I tell my boyfriend I don't like him being friends with her without sounding like a controlling girlfriend? We've been together for a very long time.Thanks for your help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2013): If you cannot assert yourself when she is flirting with him in front of you, then you have basically given her the go-ahead to keep doing it.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (18 April 2013):
You don't sound controlling in the least here, and that's saying a lot, because 99% of these kinds of questions are asked by controlling, insecure people.
It also sounds as if you have the ability to bring this up and express your concerns in the proper way without being told how by me or someone else here.
If you were my girlfriend and you expressed your concerns to me the way you wrote it here I'd be very receptive to what you had to say, however I'd definitely leave out the part that questions the legitimacy of her friendship to him. While I agree with you, it'll just open things up for an argument.
There are many women who are called homewreckers for a reason. In order to prove to themselves that they are the most desirable woman around they go and steal boyfriends and husbands. Then when the man leaves they dump him. I'm not saying this is her but it wouldn't surprise me.
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