A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just started going out with this guy. He's been my friend for three years now and we always liked each other but he use to be kind of a player and only recently did he start getting serious about life, during which time we started transitioning into becoming more than friends and finally he asked me if I would be his girlfriend cause he only wanted to be with me. There's just one hitch...we're completely nervous around each other in person and I have no clue how this happened! I have never been nervous like this around him the whole time we were friends and now all of a sudden it's like he's so quiet and acting nervous that it rubbed off on me and now I feel awkward too. When we're on the phone or texting our conversations are totally fine and go back to the way they always were when we were just friends, but in person it's like we don't know how to act or something, and then the only thing we don't have a problem with (which you think would be harder) is making out with each other. I'm getting kind of freaked out after it was still that way during our second date...is it going to wear off or stay awkward? I want it to be normal like when we are on the phone or the way it was for so many years. I'm worried that it's due to three things: 1)we got too use to talking on the phone a lot during the times when our lives got busy and we didn't have time to hang out in person as often, and so maybe we got too accustomed to that or something. 2) That we aren't as good as a couple as we are friends, but I also don't believe this to be true because when we were friends we both totally had an underlying thing for each other and ended up making out several times when drunk because we wanted to be with each other so much. or 3)we are too use to the times we hung out as friends during which we either had alcohol naturally helping us relax if we were just watching tv or something, or we were in a group social situation. Please help me know what to do...we really like each other but both have openly admitted that we're kind of nervous around each other in person all of a sudden (him most of all...I think knowing that made it worse for me to be at ease cause he's so quiet)and I don't know how to make the conversation flow easily and the interaction to be boyfriend/girlfriend-y without it being so awkward for us. I feel like I'm back in high school or something!
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