A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend of over 9 years just lost his job last week. He just told me on Thursday. I am in shock since that day and I can't believe it. He is 52 and it is not easy to find a new job in the current economy anyways. I am very worried about him because he is a type of a person who shuts himself off from everybody, he finds it difficult to talk about himself and about what is bothering him. I understand all of that, I am like him, sensitive, shy and introvertiert. I'd rather be left alone but at the same time if anyone including him calls me, I will talk. Unfortunately I can't just call him, he won't pickup the phone. I wrote him that I am always here for him if he wants to talk, I even emailed him yesterday asking him to let me know if he feels at anytime like chatting, he can email me and I will call him right away, but he said he does not want to talk. How can I help him through this tough time without really getting on his nerves !! I feel I need to do something, but what, I don't know. I love him and I worry about him. How can I help him, any advice is much appreciated.
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long distance, lost his job, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2012): The best thing you can do for him, is to do nothing. Just leave him alone because that's what he needs. Don't shower attention on him as that will for sure irritate him and you would essentially be catastrophizing his job loss if you start acting and behaving differently toward him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2012): remember, men are not like women. men need to be alone to cope with their problems. you will be annoying him if you try to make him talk.
i assume that he is canadian, so there is no need to worry. first world governments take good care of their unemployed people.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (29 April 2012):
 Yeah, give him some time to deal with it. And then, when you do talk to him, instead of bringing up the subject, make your presence a refuge and vacation from the stress. Take his mind off of it unless he wants to talk. But don't hound him to open up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2012): wow that is along time 9yrs of long distance relationship . did you ever discuss moving close to eachother . how did you ever keep together this long .
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (29 April 2012):
 Yeah, just give him time, leave him to it and when he's ready, he will contact you. If you smother him, he will just become annoyed. Just wait this one out, it might be hard, but that's what you need to do.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 April 2012):
 Am afraid you can't. If he doesn't want to talk at the moment then leave him to it, the more you try to be there for him and contact him the more he will push you away. He just needs some time on his own at the moment to accept the bad news that he got about his job. So I think the best way you can help him is to give him some space and tell him you will be there waiting when he is ready.
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