A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I wonder if you guys can help me handle a problem I have got. During the course of our 2 year relationship, my boyfriend has had 3 mobile phones which is not a problem as we keep our old phones (I have had 2) in case our new ones go wrong which they have from time to time. Yesterday, he told me I could scrap his old mobile numbers on my phone as he no longer had the phones anymore or was no longer using them anymore (I can't quite remember what he said but it was one of those two reasons). He asked me several times if I had wiped the old numbers, but I didn't (I tend to be quite mistrustful of people which I know needs addressing) and thought there was more behind this request than met the eye.Anyway, this morning I was alarmed to find that he sent me a text from one of his old mobile numbers which I don't think was aimed at me. It literally said 'Hi ya how are you then?'. If my bf sends me texts he calls me by a pet name and signs it off with kisses. I am reassured that the text wasn't suggestive or anything. The text itself is written innocently enough however I am deeply concerned by the fact that he is clearly still using one of his old numbers when he told me he wasn't anymore. Do you think he is considering having an affair? (He seems to have forgotten that even if I scrub his numbers off my phone I've still got them all written in my address book!) I would have thought that if he was having an affair he would have bought a phone that I didn't know about.How do I confront him about it? I was just going to say something like 'I received a text from you but I didn't think you were using your old numbers anymore?' and see what he says. My concern is that regardless of what he says I am not going to believe him. I don't think he would admit to considering having an affair, however I have no idea how to deal with it if he was. Help!
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female
reader, Paula4u +, writes (29 September 2009):
 Simple, first of all seems to me that he is already lying. Secondly go find the phones and sim. Be patient just keep looking watch him and you will find them sooner or later. That will show you hopefully what is going on. Whatever you do dont tell him, dont discuss it as long as he feels safe. He will make mistakes when you find the phone or sim.. you should either find out all fears were unfounded or he has moved on to other playing fields. Lastly just leave him there are loads of decent reliable men out there that appreciate honesty and love.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): just a thought here.
maybe he did not realise you still had his old numbers wrote down in various places, and by sending you the text he was wondering what your response would be to this anonymous person, like a test?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): I am the original poster of the question. I have asked him why he sent me a text from his old number when he told me he had scrapped them and he simply answered me with another question 'how did you know it was my old number?'. As I said in my original post, he tends to forget I have a good memory for telephone numbers, but it concerns me that he is avoiding answering my questions. I don't want there to be an argument but I feel like saying 'you still haven't answered my question as to why you are using your old phone when you said you had scrapped the numbers?' I want to push the issue but I am not sure what satisfactory answer he could come up with. Any ideas?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 September 2009):
You've seen the right way of confronting it, which is good. Just ask him why you received the text from his old phone when he said he'd gotten rid of them. Start with that and listen to what he says and watch how he acts. Until you've seen his reaction, it's going to be diffitult to tell what's going on.
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