A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship for 9 years and majority of the time it was good till recently. Lately it seems he doesn't care if I'm here or not. I feel he is looking for things to do to deliberately make me mad. Lately I do nothing right in his eyes and he complains about everything. He stays out late and I feel very disrespected. We do have kids so what I guess I want to know is what makes a man do a 180 over night and stop caring? Oh and I know for a fact there is no cheating. What else could it be? Mid-life crisis? He's only 33. Is it worth fixing? Now my feelings have changed. I love him but am no longer in love I think. Help! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (23 August 2009):
 How do you know for a fact it's not cheating?
He may not be sleeping with someone - but it sounds like the potential is there - he is distancing himself from you, disgruntled at home, finding fault with you and your life together...
you need to act on this - this gut feeling you have that something is very wrong - listen to it.
If you want to save the relationship you need to address this with him - its not OK for him to keep going out late and avoiding talking about what's really going on.
If he has some issues - fine - tell you what they are so you can look at addressing them - with him.
If you two can't talk things through and make a plan on how to make positive changes - which is not uncommon in these situations - get some help. Talk to a relationships counselor (do some research so you get someone with a good reputation).
Don't just hope this will resolve itself - it won't.
You are also feeling unhappy - the two of you owe it to each other to get things out in the open.
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