A
female
age
36-40,
*izzyb
writes:Hi, So I've been dating a new guy officially for about a month now, seeing each other for two in total. We were sort of friends for a little while before this and the relationship came totally out of the blue, but it was a good suprise So far things are going well- he's taken me to a family friends bbq, i've had dinner with his family, going to his boss' wedding next week, gone out with each others friends etc. We really have fun together, always laughing and chatting and I'm really starting to like him alot. There's only one thing that bothers me- he doesn't communicate well at all. In a number of ways. First he really doesn't tell me how he feels. Obviously I know he likes me through his actions but he really doesn't talk about it. He'll compliment me on how I look when we go out all the time and when we had 'the talk' he said he wanted to be together because he would hate it if I were to go out with anyone else. But apart from that he really doesn't talk about how he feels. Secondly we really don't talk much in between seeing each other. He's previously warned me that he's not a phone person and that's fine but we will go days without talking. I know it's early days and comparing it to previous relationships it doesn't seem completely abnormal, but I really need that connection in between seeing each other. He does try i think, he messaged me Monday and today- today was something random about sending me a joke email which was funny, but i just find it weird compared to my other friends in relationships. Are these red flags? or normal in the early stages of a relationship? I just got out of a 2.5 year relationship at the end of last year and this is the first person I've really liked since so I'm really nervous about putting my heart on the line again.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (17 September 2009):
Well if you are just out of a long relationship then it's best to be a bit cautious with your heart.
Some girls will have no problem with just having their own space and getting the odd text every couple of days.
Some girls need that contact and want things to be a bit more intensive.
If he can't give you what you want then let him down gently and find someone who's got the gift of being able to say things out loud.
Good Luck!! xx
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