A
female
age
51-59,
*isa c
writes:Are there a lot of open marrages out there? I should be more clear married couples that don't want to divorce but stay together as friends, parents, and partners ... but not romance or sexual partner. I'm in a relationship like that, I'm divorced and I have met a man who is in an open marrage, him and his wife have dated other people for two years now... I don't have a problem with him having a wife as his friend, it's just weird at times to see him and her together and it's like watching an old couple chat about bill the household, their son, and here I am and there's her live in boy friend... now my question is this norm? Can people have a great friendship and keep their curent relationships happy..? My sweetheart has said out of all the woman he has dated I have been the most understanding about this situation but I wonder am I being fooled or is there somthing I'm not seeing .
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female
reader, lisa c +, writes (30 November 2008):
lisa c is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks too all who took the time to give there in sight into my love life .......
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008): “Unless I am wrong, I think everyone else here has completely missed the point,as most people on this site!”
If you are so brilliant then why don’t you get an account and sign in so that we can all marvel over your insight.
"Ok so you said they are still married and have a good friendship etc but there is no sexual / romance involved. Which really is how it should be considering they have kids."
I bet that has brought a lot of laughs from readers. Are you kidding us? Just because there are kids then sex should stop. And you thought that we missed the point?
I really don’t see what you said that much differently, unless your brilliance has just overwhelmed me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): Unless I am wrong, I think everyone else here has completely missed the point,as most people on this site! Ok so you said they are still married and have a good friendship etc but there is no sexual / romance involved. Which really is how it should be considering they have kids. And even if they were divorced they would still probably be friends, married or not, which is something you will have to accept.Now I do not understand if you meant they still lived together. IF this is what you mean then yes there are people who exist like that - for many reasons, maybe the kids, maybe they cant afford to move out, maybe legal or financial reasons - whatever. But the point is if the person's partner is able to accept it and you need to ask him if this will be long term or just temporary. And if it is long term how long can you carry on living like that? It is clearly upsetting to you. People are different, some people are more tolerant than others.This isnt an open marriage - open marriage is more so used for swingers, ie the man and woman are married (and still together sexually) yet have others or many sexual partners at the same time. So perhaps be more careful with that term as that is most certainly what most people would assume as most of the other posters on here.Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): The only man I ever knew who claimed to have an open marriage (I never did get his wife's take on it) was a bit of a player, and his wife was damned ugly. I think he was trying to get rid of her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): Actually, the 2 partners in an open marriage can still be very sexual together, but allow each other to have affairs or other partners. At least that is my understanding. I have never known anyone with an open marriage, at least not as far as I know. However, my wife knew a woman who she worked with many years ago who was in an open marriage. She has no idea how active they were or if both partners dated others. I think that open marriages are rare, although cheating is much more prevalent.
I agree with Eyes about your position. I think that an open marriage is fine if all people can handle it and don't hurt others, but it would be best if other partners were also married and in an open marriage. Single people like you just end up in a dead end relationship. If that is what you want then fine, but if you are looking for a full time partner then you need to look elsewhere.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (25 November 2008):
 I agree, open marriages are great for the married people but not so great for their "boyfriends and girlfriends". I mean they, the married couple, have security and comfort and the people they play around with have neither security nor the comfort that comes from that security. There is no future down the road and if the girlfriend or boyfriend falls in love that's tough. No thanks if I were you I'd run in the opposite direction.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): I heard about open marriages for the first time in DearCupid.The idea doesn't seem right to me.If you love someone you cannot share them.we are all basically kids.We all love our candies.We cannot bear giving our candies to other kids.Part of him will always emotionally love his wife.Do not underestimate the bond a simple gold band brings into a relationship.
When you love a guy he should be totally, emotionally, legally and physically yours and only yours.Do not settle for this sham of a relationship.
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