A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, a little survey i have. I was watching a tv show, and the woman in question wanted kids, the man already had a grown son and didn't want anymore. The woman just rolled over and agreed to no children! I want children when im older, i think if the guy i love doesn't want that, it'd be a dealbreaker for me. How about you? What do you think? On the other hand, would wanting children be a dealbreaker for you if you didn't want them? Let me know what you think.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2012): "I want children when im older, i think if the guy i love doesn't want that, it'd be a dealbreaker for me. How about you?"As a guy old enough to be your grandfather I can tell you it would definitely a dealbreaker for me, and it should be one for you as well. If a guy tells you he doesn't want kids, believe him, weed him out and move on. Having children is one issue on which there is no compromise, you either want kids or you don't, both viewpoints are equally valid and legitimate, there is absolutely no middle ground, and it's very unfair and quite unrealistic for one party to expect or hope the other will eventually change his/her mind. BUT (and a big BUT), my advice is applicable ONLY to adults age 21 or over. Since you're not yet sixteen you shouldn't be screening prospective husbands and fathers of your children just yet. Most teenage guys will say they don't want to have kids (for very good reason, they're not remotely ready to become fathers because they're not yet adults and most guys your age aren't looking that far into their futures) and any teenage guy who tells you he wants a baby with you is just using a line to get you into bed. On the other hand, if you meet a guy your age who has an affinity with kids and talks about wanting to have children of his own someday in the distant future when he's an adult college graduate with a high-paying full-time job, then he is a guy who might very well be a potential good long-term match.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (5 July 2012):
 I don't think TV shows are known for their realism! Having children or not is one of the biggest dealbreakers possible in most relationships. I don't think I know anyone who is kind of neutral about kids.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 July 2012):
 It would have been a deal breaker for me before i had my kids... yes.
I wanted kids and I was not going to settle for not having them.
Some folks do not want them, my fiance for example is a 39 yr old man who does not want (and wisely so) to have children. Hence his choice to be with me, my children are grown... so it worked out for us. I have my kids, he has none...
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