A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi people, I need some advice on how to deal with my feelings please!I’ve known this girl through work for 4 years. For the first couple of years we were very close, always hanging around together and flirting. Everyone said we would make a great couple and we were destined to be together – in fact some thought we were. She was the only girl who’d ever made me feel this way, and always brightened up my day. But we were both in relationships and nothing ever happened. I didn’t know if she had feelings for me, and I tried to do what I thought was the right thing by pushing my feelings to the background.Two years ago I left my girlfriend and had another relationship. That didn’t work out, and I’ve now had the benefit of 12 months being single, and learning more about myself and growing more as a person than I ever have before.The problem is I’ve become really aware of my feelings towards this girl. Over the last few years we’ve been out (as friends) lots of times and it’s always great. But I’ve always respected the fact that she’s in a relationship. And besides I don’t know if she has feelings for me or just sees me as a good friend.But I feel like it’s getting to crunch time now. As time goes by she might go on to marry this guy and even have kids with him – and I don’t think I can be there to see that happen. It would just cut me up too much.I’ve tried to put distance in there, but I find that hard too because I miss her and find myself getting jealous when she’s then hanging around other people. It’s not easy getting proper distance in there either because we still both work together.Advice appreciated everyone! How do you think I should play this situation? How do I move on from this one, and how do I deal with the jealousy?
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female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (15 June 2009):
 She's in a relationship dude. If she wasn't happy with it, she wouldn't be in it. Simple as that. I think it would be a good idea to increase the distance between you by getting a new job.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): Err lol I guess thats one way, but well if you don't ask her at least once before she gets married then well too bad for you.
If u wanna move on and get over it then better start meeting other girls and dating them. Coz like they say, there's always more fish in the sea.
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A
male
reader, EllsworthT  +, writes (15 June 2009):
You sound like a stalker. Quit obsessing.
Go to her and ask her out. Tell her you're in a horrible, boring relationship (in other words, lie) and say you remember how much fun the two of you once had. Ask her is she would go out with you.
If her relationship sucks, she might bite.
If she gives you the brush off, then call her something nasty and move on. If you find yourself still obsessing, try to get her fired and out of your weird life.
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